Why Everyone who loves TV should watch Outlander Episode 6 This Weekend.


Hey all, so now we know that the reunion is happening in a few days. I know, I hated a two-week hiatus too. But it led me to think about all the reasons Outlander fans, and also, TV lovers need to watch this episode.

1. The world has been waiting over 14 months for them to get together. That’s over a year, everyone. We need to see this just as much as Jamie and Claire need to make it official.

2. Judging by the promo, this is going to be The Wedding Episode 2.0. In fact, it will probably be much better than that episode simply because we haven’t seen any Jamie Claire action since I can’t remember when. And it wasn’t that great if I seem to recall. So what’s it been, close to two and a half years since we’ve seen a decent sex scene between these two?


3. Sam’s V. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. This:

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Hey! Stop drooling. I know you want it, but you can’t have it. It belongs to Claire. Oh, now you’re moping. You’ll be able to see a lot more than that though, which leads me to

4. It’s all about that bass. I’m talking Jamie’s of course. Something we’ve been happy to see with other ladies a couple of episodes in, but now we get to see that butt with Claire. Which is something we’ve all been wanting to see for a few years. Well, not me, but hey, most of my fans are of the lady persuasion, so I have a duty to please their tastes. And look at this dress. Gorgeous!

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I know we all want to see what happens with this hit’s the floor.


5. It’s going to be 75 minutes of pure television bliss. That’s almost like a mini movie. A movie that’s going to have about three or four sex scenes in probably. I’m guessing. Hoping maybe, but well… I’m sure it’s going to rival the love making scene in Bull Durham. Which some people think is the best love making scene ever filmed.

challenge accepted

6. We have to find out what happened after that fainting spell Jamie had. But first we’re going to see what happened before that fateful bell. We get to see Jamie’s day in Edinburgh and see the day from his perspective. Which will be fun, and tension filled. I love this idea. It’s like finding out halfway through Walking Dead 701 finding out who Negan killed.

7. Oh, and speaking of which? What are you more excited to watch? A romantic period drama full of love and romance and sexy highlanders having wonderful sexy time with time traveling witches, or some show with a grunting hillbilly carrying a crossbow and shooting zombies? Wait, that does sound kinda cool. TIVO, you’re my hero on the 22nd.

8. And speaking of post apocalyptic doom scenarios, there has been a lot of frightful news this year. Droughts, forest fires, hurricanes wiping entire islands of their inhabitants, megalomaniacal god emperors in charge of countries that could blow up the world on a whim, and Kim Jong Un. Isn’t it time we had some unreality for a change? Every now and then we have to indulge in a little bit of fantasy, right? I mean the real world can be a little depressing. So why not let loose and watch a show about people loving each other instead of the real world where people are always doing harm to one another?

9. So there you have it, the reasons why you should be watching Outlander this weekend if you enjoy television. I know this one was a little on the short side. (readers of my regular recaps are like, “Finally!”) Do yourself a favor. Watch the love this Sunday. You’ll be glad you did.

10. Did you think I wasn’t going to round it out with a Jamie Mooney Eye pic? Oh, you’re so adorable. And so is he.

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Episode 305 Freedom and Wiskey


Season three is surpassing all of my expectations for what good television is all about. This episode once again proves to be a highlight of raw emotion this book evokes in the reader. I feel like the writers have finally gotten the core of what Diana’s Outlander series is all about.

Earlier this week on Twitter I mentioned that they would end on the bell tinkling in the print shop and then black out. They exceeded even my wishes and went a few minutes beyond that with him actually seeing her and then fainting as tho he saw a ghost. And I thought, Perfect! What a genius move. Let them see each other for a brief moment and then stop it. Then next episode pick it up with him waking up in her arms and realizing she is not a ghost. It was awesome! Thank you Outlander writers for getting it right once again. You have done justice to the best book in the series and I love you for it.

But enough of my boring preamble heaping continual praise on the staff of our favorite TV show, you came here for a recap, so le’s get it done, shall we?

1. Watching Claire doing surgery up to this point was always quick and brutal, even when in the eighteenth century. But Doctor Claire is wonderful. It’s almost instinctive how she operates cooly, under pressure, without any hesitation. She just knows what to do and how to do it. She finishes a harrowing medical procedure like, “What, you can’t do this?” and Joe looks on in wonder.

These two deserve their own show. I can totally see Fraser and Abernathy, MD as a TV show. Full of mad hijinks, solving mysteries, and saving patients.

2. Bree is in school learning about Paul Revere, something she should have learned a long time ago in grade school, but this isn’t the same thing. This is the truth of the fictional midnight ride, which was rewritten to give Paulie boy a bigger role in the historical account. Bree is all, “Speaking of lies, try living one for eighteen years, boyo.” I love the fact that she’s doodling a picture of gothic arches and its spot on perfect. She couldn’t care less about Mr. Revere.

The instructor pulls her aside and tells her she is failing. Duh, I’m not interested in history, but give me three pieces of cardboard, some bubble gum and a sewing needle and I’ll give you the Sistine chapel.

The instructor says, “I knew your father, he was a friend of mine, which means I kind of have to look out for you, ya dig?“ She says he doesn’t have to worry about her, it’ll work out. She’s fine. Oh boy, another woman saying she’s fine. This instructor better get out of the room.


Later, she goes home and takes a look around the house with all of Frank’s things. She is remembering the man who raised her. I think at this moment she realizes that despite the bloodline, she really was his daughter and he loved her very much.

3. Fraser and Abernathy are at it again. They’re drinking in his office, talking about what happened in Scotland. “Joe,” she says, “What happened in Scotland stays in Scotland.” but he’s insistent.

“Did you meet a man, Lady Jane?” he asks, and she’s like a blushing bride. It’s so cute to see her happy finally when she thinks about Jamie. But she explains, “He’s someone from my past, and I tried to find him again, but it didn’t work out, so I guess fate had other ideas.” And Joe is all, “Fuck fate.” like, Lady Jane go out and find this guy because judging how you’re thinking about him right now, he makes your lady parts burst.

Joe, you have no idea.


4. Roger arrives with news and goes to the door to hear a right good stramash between the Fraser girls. He thinks twice about ringing the doorbell, but he’s here, so he can’t just go away. Bree whips open the door with a “What?!” and he’s standing there in all his dorky nerdiness going, “Hi, it’s me. Was just in the neighborhood, figured I’d stop by?”

Well this is awkward. Coming into town in the middle of a Bree/Claire screaming match. After a hug from Claire, the two are right back at it. Turns out Bree wants to withdraw from Harvard and move out, which Team Claire is all against and Team Bree is all for.

Claire, Bree doesn’t want to go to school right away. And do you blame her? Here’s a girl whose father died, her mother takes her to Scotland to find a guy who actually turns out to be her REAL Father, completely blindsides her with that information, tells her that her mother is a time-traveling witch who tried to change history, and then proceeds to search for said ghost.

Chick is exhausted. And I would probably do the same. She has to process, Claire. Jesus H Roosevelt Christ, did you think she was going to bounce back from a series of revelations that completely changed her life in the course of a few days? I don’t think so. Let the kid have a lie down for a few months, aye?

And I love Roger’s looks here. He’s all, “I didn’t want to show up in the middle of a stramash, but I am a man, and I don’t want to say a word so Imma stay out of it.”

Finally, a horn honks and Bree grabs the moment to end the argument and leave. She is as stubborn as her father. As she’s leaving, she looks at roger and says, “Maybe we can hang out sometime.”

5. After catching up on Christmas traditions, Claire and Roger go into the living room and chat over a glass of wiskey. She wonders if having a traditional American Christmas is really why Roger showed up here and he’s all, “Nope. I have some news.”

“I’m a historian, its what I do,” he says. And I’m all, Oh yeah! Me too, Mr. Mackenzie. “I’m like a dog with a bone. I can’t let something go.” so he brings a paper over to her and shows her. “I found him.”

After explaining that the paper shows Jamie wrote a bunch of stuff like Freedom and Wiskey and a Robert Burns poem that couldn’t have been written at that time, he drops the bombshell, “Alexander Malcolm, Printer.”

He’s alive in 1765. Well, this news doesn’t’ have the effect Roger was expecting. Claire doesn’t know what to do. She’s angry at first that he did this because she resigned herself to leaving Jamie in the past. Knowing that she could go back and find him hits her like a ton of bricks. She argues that she can’t leave Bree in this condition. Bree needs me now, more than ever. I can’t leave her with all the stuff that’s happening right now.

Yes, Claire. Yes, you can. Then Roger and Claire agree not to tell Bree this information for what it will do to the girl and I’m all, Claire, you have to! She’ll be fine! She’s Brianna Fraser, daughter of the King of Men. She’ll rule the world one day.

6. She’s in Abernathy’s office looking over the bones of a skeleton found in a cave in a cave in the Caribbean. Claire picks up the skull and says, “So Horace sent you over a one hundred and fifty year old murder victim?”

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Joe says there was a bunch of artifacts with her as well. And then he picks up a few bones and says, “Yep, here’s your proof. She was murdered in the cave with a dull blade. Somebody tried to take off her head. She wasn’t black. She was a middle aged white lady.

Then he segues to her. “What’s up? You look happier.” Well, she explains that she told Bree that the Scot was her real father, and that’s why the kid has been going a little wonky lately. Joe says, “Well, nobody thought you and Frank were Ozzie and Harriet. If you have a chance of real love, take it. Bree will understand.”

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7. Roger is going after my own heart here. Dark Shadows is on and he’s all about it. In case you didn’t know, this is a soap opera about Vampires. And yes, it was a lot better than whatever that stupid sparkly vampire book written by a hack several years ago.

Bree comes in to find him rotting his brain on daytime TV and asks what his colleagues at Oxford would say. He’s all, “They would probably be right here watching because they’re all big nerds just like me.”

He apologizes for showing up at the worst time possible, but then she’s fine with it. He expresses an interest in Boston Cream pie and lobster, and she’s all, “I can help you with that. But first I have to go do this thing at Harvard. There’s one last Frank thing we have to go through before getting into the meat of this episode.” and he is totally down with that because anywhere close to Bree is the best place to be.

8. Frank Randall is getting his own endowment program at Harvard. The dean is all, “Frank was good, he was great. Ra Ra Frank Randall.” Claire doesn’t want anything to do with this whole thing. Especially when she meets


This bitch here. Sorry, but I have little regard for Blondie Harlot. Now I understand that Frank had to get his jollies off with someone other than Claire because the whole Jamie is better than you think, but come on! I was waiting for Claire to splash a drink in her face. Remember the graduation party when Blondie showed up and embarrassed her? Yeah, I didn’t think you’d forget that day. Just for that, she should have gotten a Claire Fraser Slap. And notice I say Fraser, because the Randall section of her life is over, thankfully.

Did she actually think Claire would be sympathetic to her situation? “If you had released him, we would have had happiness.” Look, lady, I don’t know what Frank was telling you, but Claire talked about getting a divorce the very night you showed up in your chippy little dress. Did he not tell you that? No? Well then go away because you are going down the right road for a glass of wine in the face.

Spare me your emotionalism. Frank wasn’t a peach in the best Georgia pie you’d ever eaten. He was a downright scumbag. If that’s your thing, then you could have had him. But he refused a divorce, so shut your whore mouth, Sandra Dee.

9. Claire and Bree are walking out of the place talking about Blondie Harlot. Bree saw Frank talking to her in a bookstore once. And then she asks Claire to tell her the truth. Okay, here goes. “Frank was in love with her. They were seeing each other while he and I were married and raising you. And yes, I know I let it happen, and I wanted him to leave so he could be with her but that’s not how things worked out.”

Bree gets all sad for a minute because she thinks Frank didn’t love her. And Claire says, “No, he loved you like you were his own. I loved you. Neith one of us resented you at all. Even when you were born and I held you for the first time, there as nothing but you. It was the most powerful experience of my life.” And she’s right. Parenthood is something you can’t explain that makes you turn absolutely crazy. You really will never love anyone as much as you love your own children. Hell, when my kids were born, I wept. There is no way to explain this to someone who has never held their own newborn. No way in the world.

Claire also has another revelation. Roger found Jamie. Instead of getting upset about it, Bree is all, “Dude, you should totally go and find him! I’ll be fine. But you should go get that sexy hunk of Scot, err my dad.”

10. Watching the Apollo 8 broadcast with a bunch of doctors and nurses, Joe asks “How do you make a trip like that and come back to the world as you know it?” and Claire starts on one of here patented Claire VoiceOvers. He’s right. How do you come back after making a trip like that? I made a trip like that, only in time. You can come back to your life, but it’s not really the same. Can a person go more than once? Yes, Claire, you can go as much as you want. Duh.

11. She is sitting with Bree much later that day. She explains she could go but what will happen with Bree? Bree says she’ll be fine. Really. Go. Dude! Just get the hell out. Go back to Jamie. It is your destiny. “How will I be able to see you get married, walk you down the aisle, see your first grandchild?” and Bree is all, “Mom, there’s another few books to go. I think you’ll see all that in person. Remember I can go through the stones too, so there’s that. Dinna fash, mother.”

Bree finally reveals, “I’ve been wondering which father I’m more like, and the answer is neither. I’m a lot like you. Plucky, string minded, creative, and pretty much as close to a perfect woman as they come. I’ll be just fine, mom. Now go, get your dress together and go find my pops.”


12. I swear I’m going to make a commercial for “Fraser and Abernathy, MDs.” This scene is too funny. Claire asks him straight up, “Am I attractive?” and Joe is nothing if not honest.

“You’re a skinny white broad with too much hair and a nice ass,” he says. And she’s all, “Aww yeah..” She explains that she could go back to Bree’s father and he says, “Why not? Don’t worry about how you look. He’ll be in heaven when he sees you. After he passes out because he thinks you’re a ghost, that is.”


13. It’s Christmas and the family is exchanging gifts. Roger gives her a book of the history of Scotland and Claire is all, “I wish I had this book when I went through the first time.” Well it certainly would have helped, yeah?

Bree gives her a necklace with a topaz as the setting. It’s Bree’s birthstone. And Claire will need the gem so she can go through the stones. Then Bree asks what she’ll wear and Claire says, “I’ll make my own dress.”


14. Batman TV theme playing in 60s retro music while Claire is making her outfit for the trip is fulfilling all of my love for that show and Outlander at the same time. I am literally laughing my ass off during this entire montage.

She is finished. And she shows it off to the kids. Its not exactly a bat suit but it is pretty much the same thing. It has secret pocket so she can take all kinds of things with her. Like Penicillin, syringes, a batarang, scalpels, and some Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes because it’s been a while since I’ve thrown in a Harry Potter reference.

She has also colored her hair and looks like 18th century Claire again. Roger goes to get something to drink, leaving Claire and Bree to talk. Bree says, “Why don’t we go to the airport with you?” and Claire explains that she doesn’t want to do that because if they go to the stones together like they did in the book, Claire may never want to go.

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So a few drinks later, Claire is all set to go. But not before giving Bree the Pearl Necklace that we her mothers and her grandmother’s before that. Oh, and her resignation letter to Joe, because she isn’t coming back to this hospital ever again, I should think.

15. Then she goes off in a taxi to an uncertain future.
But not before we see Bree go into the kitchen, gather herself up, put on a Santa hat, and come back to the living room where Roger has one more present for her. A copy of A Christmas Carol by Darles Chickens. They set down to read it.

The taxi stops. It’s raining. And she gives the Puddle Prologue. She steps out of the taxi and into a puddle wearing the Batsuit dress.

SIDE NOTE: I don’t remember if they did the prologue in season 2, or if there was ever a chance to do it to begin with. If someone can tell me, that’d be great. I’m sure I have some loyal fans out there who will be able to give me an indication.

She is in 18th century Edinburgh. It’s day time, and she just mysteriously ended up here.

SIDE NOTE: On Screen Adaptations. When I took screenplay classes, there was a term that we learned called “Enter Late, Leave Early.” It was basically a truncated screen tactic to keep the action moving. Don’t show the detectives finding a clue and a person to talk to about that, then have them drive over there, get out of the car, ring the doorbell, and get introduced. Put them right there seconds later. We don’t need to see Claire getting into the airplane, the flight over the water to Scotland, going to the stones, and through them. We already know how that works. We want to see her step out of the taxi and be there already. The in between part is boring. That’s why they didn’t show it, and I’m glad. It would have added nothing to the production of this episode.

16. She finds a young child sweeping the streets in the middle of a day in Edinburgh, and asks him where Alexander Malcolm’s print shop is. He’s all, “Carfax Close, ma’am. Oh, and you want to pick up that Saran wrap you just dropped, ya litterbug?” (Book readers will get this)

She goes around the corner, sees this elaborate sign, A. Malcolm printer. And it’s a rather fancy sign for just a normal old printer. But the fans all squee because this is the moment we have been waiting for the last fourteen months. But it’s like two minutes to the end of this episode and I totes know what they’re going to do. She goes up to the door, steels herself for the coming storm, and walks through.

The bell rings, and I’m expecting a black out and roll credits. But it keeps going. Okay, let’s see where they end it. Then she hears Jamie say, “Geordie is that you?” and it jars her because it’s the first time she’s heard that particular slice of heaven in twenty years.

So she walks down the hall and sees him down below with his back to her. And she says, “No, it’s not Geordie, Jamie. It’s me, Claire.” He does a slow turn around, and we see him. But he doesn’t look at her like he’s happy. He’s horrified. And he just stands there for a second and then he passes out. Just goes down to the mat like a champ. Or someone who has just seen a ghost.

She’s all like,

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So now we have a two week hiatus to find out what happens. The next episode will make up for it tho, with a 75 minute run time and probably a few hot scenes between our two favorite people in TV land. At least it’s not nine months between “I’ll thank you to take your hands off my wife.” and the rescue of Claire. Oh, and the next one is going to be totally not safe for work or kids. So put them to bed early because we can be guaranteed about 15 minutes of straight up Outlander porn.

So that’s it. See you next time. Oh, and since there wasn’t really any Jamie, here’s a guest Mooney eye look with our Favorite nerd, Roger Mackenzie. Don’t worry, the next week I’m sure I’ll have a million screen caps to choose from with our fair red haired lad.



Episode 304 Of Lost Things



Well, Where to start, huh? Because I don’t even have words at how emotionally rich this episode was. The ending literally had me in tears. Or as I like to call it, “My sinuses were acting up.”

Outlander is no slouch when it comes to addressing controversial topics, and this one had a subject that has been hotly debated online since the advent of chat rooms in the early days of the internet to social media. Everyone has an opinion about the Geneva Dunsany Affair. All of them have merit where it comes from the personal attitudes of the viewer or reader. However, I’ll let the original author herself explain the scene and be done with it. I happen to agree with her on all points.


I’ll talk more about my feelings on this scene when it comes up in the recap. Here goes.

1. We start in 1968 with Scooby and the gang looking over Old Man Wakefield’s files. They’re going over a very impressive backdrop about where Jamie could have wound up after Culloden. Prison records are doing them no good because Jamie wasn’t in prison until seven years after Culloden.

This fact is pointed out to them by Fiona when she brings in tea and talks about the Dunbonnet. And her scones, which she wants Roger to have because he’s much too thin. Apparently, Fiona is into pudgy well-fed guys and Roger doesn’t fit the bill yet.


Claire has a revelation when she is looking over the names from Ardsmuir prison and says she’s found him. Well, there it is in black and white, James Fraser of Broch Turach. Everyone is overjoyed, obviously. So Roger, who declares this is a great time to celebrate says, “It’s never too early for wiskey.” and dashes off to find some.

dude 9am

2. Then we are back in 1756 at Helwater, the Dunsany estate. The family is back from Italy, where Lady Isobel complains to Evans the butler that it was too hot. Geneva looks around for suitors to flirt with and sees none other than Farm Boy Fraser, the new groom.

After the introductions, Jamie is summoned to see the master of the house, Lord Dunsany. They have a short conversation wherein the good Lord tells Jamie that he knows he’s a prisoner, and he won’t tell his wife about it because their son was killed at Prestonpans.

“It just wouldn’t do to hear that we are harboring a notorious Jacobite criminal.” he says. “You’ll be paid, and if you can keep yourself out of trouble, everything will be fine.”

Jamie’s all, “I’ll try, but it’s kind of my thing to find trouble, or rather it finds me. So I’ll do my best, but this is a Diana Gabaldon novel after all, so there’s that, yeah?”

Try your best, anyway, would you please?

3. Roger and Bree are sitting by the side of the road nursing a car back to life. Well, Roger is trying. He has the hood up, which is a start, in the universal code to all other drivers on the road that “I’ve broken down and I have no fucking clue as to what I’m doing so could you help me out, please?”

Bree is teasing him about Fiona. “I thought at first she was your girlfreind,” says Bree, which startles him and makes him bang his head on the open hood.

“Girlfriend? Occh, no.” he says. Then She tells him to step out of the way so she can fix the car. Well, she reaches into the engine, snaps the zamaphrazit to the thingamajiggit coupling and tells him to try it again.

The car starts, obviously, because, in addition to being a time traveler, she’s also a regular Maguyver with machines.

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4. Now it’s time for jamie to draw straws with the rest of the grooms. So he goes out to where the other guys are there, drawing to see who is unlucky enough to have to go with Geneva on her daily ride around the grounds. Some poor guy besides Jamie gets the worst pick, and as Geneva comes up she tells Jamie to go get her horse.

He does, but not quite fast enough for her, so she calls out for him to “Hurry up, useless Scotchman!” He comes out soon after, and the guy rides off with teenage hellion.

Lady Isobel hears the two men talking about her sister, and says, “Who needs what, the horse or my sister?” Well, they both look away guiltily, and are ready to apologize for the slight but Isobel says, “That’s okay, I think she needs a good slap too.”

Then she and Jamie share a conversation about Lord John. She starts out complaining that her father cages such magnificent creatures. Jamie’s all, “Yeah, you guys have the best stabels I’ve ever seen.” but she’s one of these tree hugging animal lovers and says, “A cage is still a cage.” with a very pointed look at Jamie. Like, “Is this your cage, Mr. Mackenzie?”

Anyway, she asks how long he’s been in the employ of Lord John. Jamie is adept at telling the truth here, even when it’s a certain blend of spin. He’s all, “Well, I’ve been in his charge for three years.”

I’ve been in love with him since childhood, and I find him to be a mysterious and delightful man.” she says. “I’ve thought about marrying him one day.”

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5. Doctor Abernathy calls Roger’s house wanting to talk to Claire. He tells her about somebody that needs a surgeon. “I’m sure you can do that, can’t you?” she says. Abernathy looks kind of crestfallen that he won’t be seeing his Lady Jane any time soon. “I’ll be back next week. See you then.” Then just hangs up on the guy.

6. Dunsany and the ladies are coming down the Helwater steps with the Earl of Ellesmere, the man who is betrothed to young Geneva Dunsany. He’s an old codger that is only doing this for the money. Yes, this is what happened back when women had absolutely no say in their own love lives. The men in the family sold them off for tremendous dowries like property.


While the men are talking about the upcoming nuptials, Jamie is cleaning the shoe of one of the carriage horses. And taking his damn sweet time about it, which asshole Ellesmere remarks about.

Later, the men are drawing straws again but no, Jamie’s on the hook for this one. She asks for him personally. So, resigned to his fate, he gets the horses ready and they go off to ride along the muddy trails of the Dunsany estate.

She asks what he thinks of Ellesemere, and Jamie says, “He’s nice, in the kind of way a toad is nice to look at maybe? I don’t know I can’t really say.” She demands Jamie to tell him Ellesmere‘s greatest attraction besides money. He says, “I don’t really think of such things.” Then she calls him a liar. Well, Jamie stops. You can call him anything you want, but that.

He’s all, “I think we should go back,” but she isn’t having any of it. “It’s still light out, and you have to do my bidding.” So she rides off into the woods and Jamie pauses. Then his protective nature overcomes him and he goes after her.

A few seconds later, he hears a scream and comes around the path to find her sprawled on the ground, presumably unconscious. So he does the noble thing and runs to her. After picking her up, something you should never do without discerning injuries (did you learn nothing from Claire, Jamie? Shame on you.)

Then she opens her eyes and starts laughing. Well, if there’s one thing our boy Mr. Fraser doesn’t like, it’s being played for a fool. So he unceremoniously drops her in the mud and stomps off.

dirty girl

Later, Lord John and Jamie are out playing chess in the woods when the Ladies Dunsany show up with none other than General Melton, of His Majesty’s Tenth Dragoons. This scene is fraught with tension, and Melton must stand with this deception with Lord John because he looks kind of blind sided by the whole meeting up with Mr. Fraser.

Naturally, Melton can’t say a word in order to keep decorum. When asked by Isobel how they have done without him, Melton simply says “If it were up to me, I would never have let such a man go. But it was up to my brother,” he finishes.

Geneva doesn’t buy this at all, so she says “Let’s go play cribbage” to Melton and he agrees if only to get out of this tense situation.

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Then he looks at his brother like, “Dude, one of these days I’m going to slap the shit out of you for this.”

7. The next day, Jamie and another groom are shoveling shit, which just looks to me like they are dumping it into a pile on one side of a wall, and then shoveling it to another side of the wall. This seems kind of redundant to me, but he, I’m not a groom and I’ve never shoveled shit, except that one time at my grandfather’s barn, but then I was putting it into a cart hitched to his tractor and then he took off and some of it rocketed out of the back of the cart and sprayed me all over so I was almost covered in it. Yeah, happy days.

Anyway, enough about my bucolic shit shoveling days. Geneva comes to him and starts casually mentioning to him that she doesn’t want to marry Ellesmere, and frankly no one can blame her. the dude could be her grandfather, which is eww gross.

She tells Jamie to come up to her room tonight. Well, he’s having none of that because reasons. and she says, Maybe I can convince you. See, I was talking to General Melton about you, and he told me an interesting story about how you’re Red Jamie Fraser, the notorious Jacobite who may have killed my brother at Prestonpans. And if my mother were to get ahold of this information, well… maybe you’d be back in prison.”

Well, Jamie ain’t going out like that, but he still refuses. he’s getting really pissed here and then Geneva drops another little bit of info. “By the way, I’m sure Lallybroch would be a nice garrison for the English.” and that’s his breaking point. Because it’s Lallybroch. Well that’s all home boy needed to make a decision. She won’t tell about any of this if he comes to her room that night.

as you wish

Talk about being stuck between a rock and another rock.

8. Anyway, he does it. but not before making a lot of fucking noise coming into the house. The people who own this place are wealthy, wouldn’t they have put some WD-40 on that hinge?

He goes up the stairs to Geneva’s room and there she is waiting wearing just a nightgown. She says, “Thanks for coming, Jamie.“ but he says, “Don’t call me by that name. You threatened my family home and I’m not going to let you call me by the name they gave me. You can call me Alex.“ So she says, “Well, Alex, disrobe.”

What am I in a doctor’s office now? He’s thinking. But he starts and she looks away. but the female audience isn’t. they want to get every inch of that fine man’s body in their minds for later… He tells Lady Dunsany that she can look.

the look.jpg

So he goes to her, but she doesn’t know what to do so he can teach her. “I want my first time to be with someone like you,” she tells him. and I’m thinking, “Doesn’t every woman? I mean, come on. this guy’s ass alone is the best on TV. in real life, I’m sure you could bounce a quarter off of it. What hot-blooded woman wouldn’t want to grab a handful of that?

So he teaches her the fine art of love in a bona fide JAMMF style love scene. When they’re done, he asks if he hurt her. She says, yeah a little but after a few minutes, I liked it. then she goes all virgin sorority girl to the player quarterback and says “I love you, Alex.”
Well, Jamie ain’t having any of that, either. he sits up and says, “You don’t love me. that’s your body talking, not your heart. Love is when you give your all for someone and they give theirs in return.” which is kind of a slap in the face to her because she knows he’s not all in for her because he’s still thinking about his wife.

SIDE NOTE: So there’s been all kinds of complaints on social forums about this scene. the common complaint was that it didn’t need to be so graphic, that it was too long, that it wasn’t necessary to show the whole scene from beginning to end in real time, etc. to which I say, Poppycock! this was the conception scene for a character that is one of the main ones in the later books. this was Jamie’s son they were making. People may say he wasn’t very honorable and he was just using her. And why not? He was put into the unenviable position of having to bed her to save his life and that of his family. He’s going to get something out of it, so he did. And I don’t blame him one bit. Ask any guy, they would say the same. Sure, he was gentle at first, but then he just let himself go and that was it. it was simply sex for the sake of sex.

Oh, and if you’re one of those that doesn’t like to see a lot of sex, I would remind you that the later episodes are going to be filled with it. Episode 6 is going to be a scorcher between Jamie and Clarie. and this is something we’ve waited over a year and a half for. So you know it will be a long one. just cover your eyes or fast forward through the naughty bits and you’ll be fine.

9. Later, we see a very visibly pregnant Lady Geneva Ellesmere coming home to visit the family and there’s Jamie like, “Aww yeah, my bairn.”
10. Wherein we have a few minutes in the future and Fiona gives Claire the pearl necklace that Jamie gave Claire on their wedding night. (Oy, you in the back! Stop sniggering! It’s not that kind of pearl necklace!)

Brianna sees her come into the room and is all excited because the library in Edinburgh has a huge archive of ships manifests. Claire is kind of wistful here because all she is thinking about is that night. Bree says, “Is everything alright mama?” and Claire gives her a hug saying “You haven’t called me that for a long time.”

Well, later on in the den, Roger and Bree are talking. She’s a bad person for not wanting her mother to go. What if she can’t get back, or what if something happens, or what if she doesn’t want to go? And Roger is all, “That just makes you a caring daughter. I don’t want her to find him either, because then you’ll be going back to Boston.”

And she’s so overwhelmed by this cuteness that she just plants a wet kiss on him. and they both agree that was unexpected. Well, it’s such a surprise that she gets up and walks away. Aww man, Roger, you missed your chance for a full on make out session in front of a fire on the couch? Go after her, you nerd!

11. All is not right with Geneva’s pregnancy. Isobel comes running to Jamie and tells him to make ready to go to the Ellesmere estate. So he goes with the family to find out what’s going on. And it is a hell of a lot.

Geneva is dying. But the child is safe and healthy so there’s a plus. Maids and family members are rushing around, while Jamie just stands there pacing like all expectant fathers throughout history. Then he hears Isobel down the hall crying. He goes to find out what’s up, and she’s pissed. When Jamie goes to comfort him, she slaps the daylights out of him. But he keeps his cool because he’s seen women going nuts before and the best strategy is to remain calm and let them get it all out.

“Geneva died in childbirth. Ellesmere knew the child wasn’t his. Geneva told Isobel everything, and Geneva loved you!” But before he can explain anything, a maid comes down the hall yelling, “Come quick, there’s trouble!”

And that trouble involves a very upset Ellesmere and Lord Dunsany. Now I’ve watched a few times and all I hear is “Whore, another man’s cock, and poltroon.” It’s all babbling to me, but they’re clearly upset. Ellesmere holds a knife to the baby. Dunsany pulls a gun. Ellesmere is threatening to send the baby to the hospital, Dunsany is going to send Ellesmere to the morgue.

But Jamie’s cool demeanor calms the guys enough to actually make Dunsany give him the gun. He tries to get the knife from Ellesmere, but the man just doubles down on the killing of the bastard and raises the knife to kill William. Jamie’s all, “Aw, hell no!” and straight up shoots the bastard in the face.

Then he runs over to get the child and see it safe. And Jamie holding a bairn is something we can all say is probably one of the most precious things on earth.

jamie baby (2)

12. A few days go by and there’s the baby getting wheeled around the grounds by Isobel. She sees Jamie riding by and calls for him to talk. She tells him it’s all good, they named the boy William, after his father, and she’s sorry for the anger when Geneva died. “It wasn’t your fault, I just wanted to blame someone. My sister was a difficult woman, obviously, but you were kind to her. I mean besides dumping her in the mud that one time. But we’re cool. Oh and my mom wants a few words.”

Lady Dunsany comes over and explains that a court of inquiry determined that in his grief, the Earl of Ellesmere killed himself. Nothing was mentioned of the groom that saved the baby’s life. So jamie is in the clear.

“Also,” she says, “I know who you are. I know you’re a prisoner, and you fought in the rising and you’re a notorious criminal. But you’re cool with me and I’ve talked to the authorities and it’s been determined that you’re free to go whenever you want to go home.” So just like that, Jamie kills a guy and gets his freedom. Which is awesome.

But it kind of sucks because he’s looking down at his son and doesn’t want to leave so he says, “I’ll stay here for the time being if it’s all the same to you.” and she’s all, “What for? You’re free to go.”

“Well, if you knew my sister and what’s going on back home, I don’t think you’d want to go there either. And she also said she’d stay mad at me forever, and never forgive me and she kinda sorta sounded like she meant it, ken? And if you ever saw her pissed off, you wouldn’t want to be around Jenny either. So if it’s all the same to you, I’ll stay here and hang out with y’all.”

So she says, “Okay, but whenever you want to leave, you’re free to go.”

13. Fast forward to 1764, and here’s young willie looking all handsome and Jamie like while riding a horse. Folks are starting to talk about how Willie looks like Jamie and they’ve been hanging around with each other an awful lot. You know, riding horses together, cleaning windows in carriages, etc. Jamie looks in the window at one point after looking at his son and sees what people are talking about.

the boy meme

14. We’re at the national archives, where Roger and the gang are looking through old boat manifests. They’re all wrong though, about a hundred years off. So Roger goes to the woman in charge and she says, “Sorry, that’s all we have.” So they’re out of luck on that front. Turns out trying to find a needle in a two hundred year old haystack is proving more difficult than they expected.

Later, in a bar, They’re all at the bar having a dram and commiserating. Bree says, “We’ll find him, don’t give up hope. Oh, and by the way, what are all these guys looking at?”

Claire, ever the feminist, says, “We aren’t supposed to be sitting here, but guess what, this is 1968, and we can go where any man can, even if it is a bar to drown our sorrows.” Then she says, “This is what Mrs. Graham warned me about. Chasing ghosts. Well the chase is over, so it’s time to go home.”

15. Jamie says the same thing a few seconds later to young Willie. Willie wants to go with him, but Jamie says he can’t go. “You have to do as I say, I’m your master!” willie says at one point. Jamie tells him to respect his elders. Well, the kid won’t be having any of it. He goes off on a tear, knocking over water pails and generally behaving like a stubborn Scot when he doesn’t get his way. Jamie grabs him and whaps him on the butt a couple of times and turns him around.

“I hate you!” the boy says. And Jamie answers that he’s not very fond of the boy at this very moment, ya wee bastard! Which happens to any father who encounters a child who is rambunctious and prone to temper tantrums in the street.

Well, this calmed Willie down enough to say, “Im not a bastard, take it back!” to which Jamie does because it was a Freudian slip and he regrets it the moment he says it and due to Sam’s acting skills, you can see it before he says anything.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have used that word,” Jamie says. “I take it back.” And then he hugs the boy and it’s all over. And my heart is breaking for these two because they won’t have the true father son bond that either of them really wants or needs.

16. Lord John and Jamie share a moment of friendship right out of the books and it’s wonderfully emotional. Jamie wants John to look after Willie for him. As a reward for this kindness, Jamie offers John his body.

john meme

But John is all, “Dude, no way. I’m going to marry Isobel. We’ll take Willie as our son and raise him. He’ll be fine. Jamie says “You will always have my friendship, for what it’s worth.” The men shake hands. And John says, “It’s worth quite a bit.”

And I’m just almost in tears because I love both of these guys. Yeah, I’m a big mushy dope.

17. Jamie is putting some stuff up on an altar and lights a candle in front of St. Anthony, the patron saint of lost things. Willie knocks on the door and Jamie tells him to come in. He tells Jamie “My granny says only stinking papists burn candles in front of graven images.” And Jamie says, “Well then I guess I’m a stinking papist.” Willie asks who he’s praying for and he tells the boy the people he has lost. Claire, Murtagh, and Willie, his brother, who is named Willie.

I didn’t know you were married, the boy says. Jamie says that he remembers her every day and that Willie will have a wife one day. “You’ll find her, or she will find you,” Remembering how he and Claire met the first time in that hovel with a dislocated shoulder.

I had forgotten that for some reason, which is another reason than blood to love the kid. And wee Clark Butler is really killing it here. He tells Jamie, “I want to be a stinking papist so I can say stinking papist more than any other person in any other show ever from now until doomsday.” Because damn they say that about ten times this scene.

Jamie christens him James and tells Willie, that’s his special Stinking Papist name.

Then he shows Willie the snake he carved for him. It’s got your name on it. And I’m just choked up right now because reasons.



Just seeing this makes the tears start to flow.


Oh, and to all you child actors out there who look like Sam Heughan, get cracking on reading these books yesterday because in a few years you will have a chance at a great part.

18. Then it’s a montage of going home. Claire and Bree are leaving on a jet plane. Jamie is leaving on a horse, and Willie runs after him in a classic “Come Back Shane!” moment that has me literally bawling and it’s heartbreaking. When that first line of the Bob Dylan cover starts, “Where are you, my blue-eyed boy?” I can’t hold back anymore and I’m ugly crying at this point.

People are looking at me in the break room wondering if my dog died or something and I’m just, “No, it’s Outlander, duh!” And then I realize this is my favorite episode of the season and so is 104 and 204. What the hell, guys, one-third of the way through every season you knock it out of the stratosphere.

Anyway, that wraps it up. I’ll try to get 305 out on a timely basis but my work schedule will probably be murder next week so I’ll let folks know when it’s up. I don’t want to rush it, and due to the two-week hiatus, I’ll have a few days longer to take my time and get it right.

Oh, and you know that they’re’ going to end on the bell ringing in the print shop blackout, right? Because they totally are. And that is gonna suucck.

So here you go, your Jamie Mooney Eye pic of the week.


Sorry it’s with Geneva, but don’t fret, it’ll be with Claire in a couple of episodes.

Episode 303 All Debts Paid

All Debts Paid.

I am loving this season. The writing is top notch, acting is excellent, and I can’t stress enough how delighted I am to be seeing Voyager come to life. I’ve seen crappy TV shows before, and I have to tell you, this one is probably better than 99% of the dreck we see every day. Episode titles are the best so far because they offer up a theme for the week, a narrative thread if you will. This one was perfect, in that Lord John Grey has a debt to pay to Jamie and Frank owes a debt to Claire.

Oh, and let’s have a frank discussion about Frank here. I was all prepared to be in his corner this episode. In the book, there were hints and inferences to his affairs. Most readers thought he did have affairs and Herself said she wanted to infer it, but never show any real evidence so the readers could make up their minds. I like to think during their discussion before he died in the book that he was honorable enough not to consummate any dalliance he may have had. Apparently, the producers decided to go full on Jerk with him and make those affairs a reality. So after this episode, I am no longer in his corner. Especially since they decided to make him a complete cad. Oh, and the fact he wanted to take Bree away from Claire. That pissed me off too, in both iterations. I have personal reasons why that upset me as well and I won’t get into it here. Let’s just say, Claire’s anger is fully justified.

Also, sad to say Tobias is gone from the show now. Maybe we’ll see him in other scenes, flashbacks perhaps where the story demands it, so I can’t say he’s completely gone. However, for the narrative, I don’t expect to see him much in the later episodes. He was a damn fine actor, and he deserves all the awards he gets. One thing though, even though Frank and Black Jack Randall were, in essence, villainous characters, I would hate to see people bash Tobias online for his excellent portrayal of both characters. It has happened before with other actors, and I pray it doesn’t happen to him.

So let’s get to it.

1. Frank is fixing a proper English Breakfast for Claire. It’s several years after the birth of Bree, and he’s horrified that she has asked for Eggo Waffles. (Were they even a thing in the 50’s?) he’s acting like, “Oh my god, she’s so American. I have to give her some culture from her home country. You want to do that, serve her some parritch. Oh wait, we can’t do that because she’s Frank’s daughter. And we can’t mention her real dad anywhere but between the two of us, right Claire?

They’re sitting down to it, and Claire is all, “So let’s go to dinner tonight and maybe we can see a show after?” She’s trying to have a sense of civility between the two of them, but then he’s all, “Nope. Seen both those shows already….” and the “With someone else” hangs heavy in the conversation. I love how these two do more communicating in silence then they do actually speaking. Even though they’re not a truly loving couple, she still seems hurt that he’s sleeping around. Frank, dude, SHE’S FUCKING TRYING! UGH! There are so many times I wanted to reach through the screen and strangle him. Get over your wounded pride and at least try to be a loving husband for God’s sake. He says he’s being discreet. That’s all well and good but you shouldn’t be having affairs TO BEGIN WITH!

I promised myself I wouldn’t get upset. Apparently, that’s impossible this episode.

Bree comes down to eat, with a drawing of something she’s inventing. Probably a particle accelerator or a smartphone or something, who knows. Claire says it’s wonderful, and there’s a silence between Her and Frank that is palpable.

Oh, and just because you agreed to an open marriage, doesn’t mean you should jump through that open door to a fiery pit like you‘ve got wings on your shoes. At least try to be a good guy to your family, I know you have a semblance of honor, Frank.

claire sideye

2. Then we are in Ardsmuir Prison, where Highlanders go to catch rats and get scurvy. There’s a new warden getting shown around and he is one handsome piece of something on a stick. Lord John Grey is a fan favorite, and we finally get to see him in all his glory. And boy can he wear a uniform. Move over Tom Brittney as the reigning English Cutie, because LJG just took hotness to a factor 11.
The old warden is showing him around, telling him about the local booze merchants, the Frenchman’s Gold, and the local civilization. Lord John asks him about local culture, and the Warden scoffs.

local culture.jpg

Later on, in the cells, the men are talking about the new warden. Jamie is discussing the man with someone out of frame, and as the camera pans over, we see Murtagh, alive and well and living in Ardsmuir. Maybe not well, he’s been plagued with rat bites. But he’s ALIVE! Apparently, #SaveMurtagh worked.

murtagh lives.jpg

And the fans go wild! Even though we only see him in this episode, there are several storylines that are now opened to be changed by his existence. We’ll have to wait and speculate on when he will arrive in the coming seasons. Maybe that’ll be one of the main talking points during the next Droughtlander on when or where he and his magical eyebrows will pop up next.

Jamie says, “I think I’ve seen him before, but I cannae place him.” Oh, you’ll find out soon enough, Mac Duh, you’ll find out soon enough. “All the muggles look the same, did you take the measure of the man?” Murtagh asks. “He stands tall, with a ramrod up his arse.”

Jamie is giving him medicinal advice, and Murtagh asks, “Where did you learn all that?” and Jamie’s all, “From this awesome lass I used to bed…” and he looks all wistful and teary-eyed. During this whole conversation, Murtagh is fiddling with a small scrap of Fraser tartan which they aren’t supposed to have at all. Murtagh hides it in a safe place and I’m sure we won’t see that little plot device again this episode.

SIDE NOTE: They did film a scene with a lead up to the flogging, but it didn’t make the cut. I don’t know why since I’ve read the sides of it and it would have been a great scene to watch. Ah well, we’ll have to wait till the DVD comes out to see it I guess.

3. Jamie gets called to the new Governor’s office, where he finally gets to meet the man. Lord John offers Jamie the same deal as the previous governor had and Jamie agrees. Another prisoner brings in Lord John’s dinner, and soon after, a rat scurries across the floor. Lord John is horrified that a prison has rats in. “Is there a cat in the prison?” he asks. When the answer is affirmative, he demands one be brought up to his office.

Then he asks Jamie, “Are there rats in the cells?” and Jamie says, “A great many.”

For a second, it looks like John is kind of guilty for eating a fine meal while prisoners are dining on vermin. Then Jamie takes a few steps forward with a foreboding look in his eyes. “I dinna ken what you did to get sent here, but I hope you deserved it.” Then He and the other prisoner get led away while Lord John sits back and sighs.

ovary meme.jpg

4. Claire has finally finished Med School and she’s officially a doctor. She is standing with Abernathy while Brianna is taking pictures with a camera she made out of broken transistors, some old wire, a cardboard box, a snowglobe, and one of her mother’s discarded bras. Claire and Abernathy are hugging companionably while Bree snaps a picture.

think it is.jpg

And then the child asks Mom and Dad to get into frame.


This is a party for Claire and the graduating class of doctors. The party is in full swing, but Frank asks, “When are the reservations for the restaurant? I thought it was at six.” And Claire is all, “Nope, it’s seven o’clock, pay attention, you dolt!” He seems upset, and a few minutes later, we find out why. There’s a knock at the door, and Claire goes to see who it is, all smiles and a warm disposition.

Then she opens the door.

Frank comes into the hallway, and she shoos Bree out of the room. Then, she’s all, “You couldn’t wait for us to leave before you brought your little chippy into the house? I see.” then she goes into the living room, grabs up her purse and tells the rest they’ll go to the restaurant together and sit at the bar till the table is ready because Mama Claire is going to get her drunk on. And I don’t blame her.

And there’s Frank and Blondie standing there while everyone walks past him with looks on their faces like Cersie Lannister walking the path of shame.

5. Then there’s an old man walking down the road somewhere around the prison when a cart of soldiers comes to him. He’s muttering about gold and other gibberish. The redcoats scoop him up and take him to the prison. This is apparently a kinsman to Jamie because Lord John brings Jamie out to the yard to ask for his assistance.

“I need you to decipher what he is saying. He’s speaking Gaelic, French, a smattering of Klingon, and who knows what else. Since you know every language known to man, maybe you could help out, yeah?”
Jamie says “No,” at first, because he’s a prisoner and there’s a conflict of interest. Then Lord John offers him a bargain. “Do it, and I’ll strike your chains.” but Jamie comes back with a counteroffer.



R.I.P Hugh Hefner.


6. Frank arrives home to a woman who is about to give no quarter. She’s smoking, in the house. And she’s had a few too many drinks. So has he, by the looks of him. This can’t be good. Well, it’s a right angry stramash between the both of them. Frank humiliated Claire in front of her friends. He knew how important this day was for her, but he invited the blonde harlot over anyway.


So they calm down for a few minutes and she says, “Let’s stop the pretense. I’ll grant you a divorce and you’ll have your freedom.” Then he says, “Yes, Jerry divorced Millie and he gained his freedom. But he hardly sees the kids anymore. And all I’m thinking is “Wait, Millie and Jerry got divorced? How did this happen? They seemed like a loving couple. Aww, come on! If anyone could have lasted, it was those two. Weren’t they kissing and having googly eyes together at dinner the last episode? This is totally unfair!”

Anyway, he’s not going to file for divorce. He wants to do it in a few more years when it will hurt Claire more. Because he’s a SOB like that. He’s going through another “Wounded Pride” moment and its pissing all of us off. Oh, and when a woman asks if you’ve had your chippy little harlot in your bedroom, the answer is “No!” You don’t hem and haw and offer up the lame excuse like “I think our bedroom is crowded enough as it is.” because that’s a “Yes.”

7. Jamie is led into the room where they’re keeping Duncan Kerr. He tells the guy that he’ll have to tell the English about what he says. So the man goes on about the gold, how it’s cursed, Ellen Mackenzie, selkies by the sea, and a whole lot of other nonsense that Jamie can’t make out. Lord John at one point gets impatient and wants to hurry it up.

Then the man says “Beware the white witch,” and this catches Jamie’s attention. “What was that?” and the man says, “She’s looking for a Mackenzie. She will come for you…” and dies.


Lord John asks what the man said, but Jamie only gives him the basics of “White witches and selkies.” John thinks he is holding back, but Jamie says he always keeps his word. It’s an interesting scene here because it shows these two playing a power game. Jamie is in control here, and Lord John can’t do anything about it. Even when he threatens pain upon Jamie, it doesn’t work.

“I’ve had all kinds of pain done to me, sir. Try if you must.” Basically saying, “Dude, I’ve had so much shit happen to me, there’s nothing you could do that would make me talk. Oh, you could try, but I don’t think you’ve got the grapes.”


8. Claire and Frank are singing a birthday song for Brianna and talking about wishes. Claire says not to wish for a car, because that idea is right out, unless that wish is for Frank to be in said car, and said car goes flying over a cliff in a fiery crash. Frank is all, “Don’t’ be so sure.” Well, Bree blows out the candles, and while it is supposed to be a happy event, I get the sense from the both of them that this is all about going through the motions for the kid. And I know far too many marriages are probably like that. Which is sad, really.

9. Then we go back to Murtagh drinking something out of a cup and he’s complaining about it. “This is worse than the crap you gave me last time. And Jamie’s all, “Dude, I’m no Claire, give me a break. I’m going off of memory here, and most of my memories involve beds and shifts dropping to the floor.”

He asks what happened with the babbling man and Jamie’s all, “It was a mad rant. He didn’t say anything much about the gold. All I could decipher was he talked about a White Witch looking for a Mackenzie. “And you think it’s her?” Murtagh says. Jamie replies that he doesn’t know. Then they reminisce about Claire and the bairn. Jamie says he tries not to think about it. But Jamie, that’s impossible. How do you forget your one true love and the kid you have in another timeline? You don’t, that’s what.

Then Jamie is summoned away to Lord John’s office again. When he gets there, John says he’d like to keep the same dinner arrangement with Jamie as did the former warden. Jamie is hesitant because this is, to him, another way to get information about the Frenchman’s Gold and what the old man said. So he’s not buying it.

Jamie has a few other requests. One, he’d like to arrange a hunt so the men can have whatever meat they catch. John scoffs at this notion. He’s not going to let them have weapons. Jamie’s all, “Dude, not weapons. Let them prepare snares and stuff with string and twigs. Oh, one more thing. We can get watercress to eat.”

“What on earth for?” John says. Jamie’s says, “So they won’t get scurvy. I know it sounds crazy but my wife told me about it and I don’t have scurvy yet so there’s that, yeah.” John looks like, oh darn, he’s married. But all hope is not lost for John when Jamie says, “She’s gone.“ Lord John pauses and then says, “I shall take your requests under consideration. Shall we begin?”

So they sit down to dinner of Roast Pheasant and wine. Jamie tears into it like a man dying of hunger. Later on, he regales the men in the cells with what he ate, how it tasted, and what wine he had to drink. And this is what passes for entertainment in Ardsmuir Prison. I’m suddenly sad for all of them all over again.

10. Later, we see the men going through a hunt. There are a few guards watching with weapons, but when they turn their backs, Jamie and a couple of other men make a well-timed escape by jumping into a ditch and having the men put bushes over his body.

Oh, and one guy caught a rabbit. So he’s eating high on the hog tonight.

Well, naturally the escape doesn’t sit well with Lord John because he’s lost his favorite Scottish prisoner. The search brings them to an island with a ruined chapel on it. And I’m thinking, “Who builds a chapel on an island off the Scottish coast that’s surrounded by deep water, treacherous tides, and bull selkies that could eat you with extremely large tusks? No wonder it’s a ruin!”

Then we find Lord John peeing outside the prison for some reason and Jamie comes up behind him all stealthy like and grabs him from behind. “That’s how it’s done Lord John Grey, second son of Vicount Melton.” and Johnny boy is all, “Dude, you remember?”

They go back to that night where Lord John tried to capture Jamie and got tied to a tree for his troubles. “It brought incredible shame to me and my family, and I regret it to this day,” John says.

“And your brother was a very honorable gentleman. So that debt is discharged.” Jamie answers. “But I also remember your promise.”

John looks horrified by this because what he said back then holds no bearing now because he likes our ginger-haired hero as much as we all do. Jamie puts the sword in the dirt, kneels down and says, “Well, here I am.”

But John just goes up and grabs the sword, puts it up against Jamie’s neck, and then puts it back in his scabbard. “I’m not going to kill an unarmed prisoner.”

11. Jamie and John are out of earshot of the prison, and Jamie tells him about the escape and why. “My wife was a white witch. I thought he was talking about her so I had to go see for myself.”

“But what about the gold?” John answers. “There is none. It’s all a myth.” Jamie says.


But as evidence that he’s telling the truth, Jamie produces a sapphire and hands it over. “I was holding on to this just in case she was there, and we could go and live happily ever after somewhere.” and Lord john replies, “Oh, Jamie, you’re so cute. You do know this is a Diana Gabaldon novel, there is no ‘Happily Ever After’.”
A guy can dream, can’t he?

12. It’s graduation day! Wow, this kid grew up fast. Wasn’t it last episode she was crawling around inventing new ways to get out of a crib? Now she’s going up and getting her diploma at high school. She’s eighteen and leaving school.

And there’s the proud parents of the teen, acting all normal and praising her like perfectly normal happy parents do. Watching Frank here, he’s like, “Finally, I can get out of this loveless marriage.” The way he looks at her makes me angry and sad at the same time.

13. And then Murtagh gets a doctor. He’s going to live to see another season. Woohoo! And I know they are just keeping him around so they can give him a really awesome and heroic death where he saves Jamie and Claire at some point in future. And it’s going to be sad and tug at our heartstrings. But right now we can be happy he’s still up and moving those fabulous eyebrows around again.

John and Jamie are playing chess, talking about the loves they lost. Lord John lost someone special to him at Culloden. Jamie did too, but he doesn’t know if she’s dead or not. (Psst, Jamie, she’s alive, and looking for you) he tells John that he met her, that night they first met.

“I knew you were honorable that night. What you did for the woman you didn’t know, giving your life so she could be free, that was a brilliant move. And I respect that.”

John reaches over and touches Jamie’s hand, a little too formally for just friendship. Jamie looks at him with a different look.

the look

“Remove your hand, or I will kill you,” he says evenly, making no bones about how serious he is about that. Lord John does, saying nothing in the process. Jamie gets up and leaves the room.

14. Frank tells Claire that he wants to take Brianna to England with him. She’s eighteen now and she will have better opportunities there with regards to colleges. In fact, Frank still has some pull with Oxford. Well, this is a blindside to Claire. He also wants a divorce. So basically, he wants to divorce Claire and take her daughter to a foreign country where she will barely ever see her mother. Claire doesn’t exactly jump at this notion for obvious reasons. I mean, come on, Frank. In what world does this make sense? I understand you are upset with her, but this is a total douchebag move. Oh, and he wants to marry Blonde harlot.

“Okay, so let me get this straight. You want to divorce me, take my child to another country, and marry some whore you’ve been sleeping with for the past ten years. Is that right?” Claire says, “And you’ve been biding your time. We talked about this a long time ago. Sure, I’ll give you a divorce, but you are not taking MY daughter. With the emphasis on MINE!”

Frank Randall, you lived up to the book. You could have had the best woman ever, but you ruined it. All because of your stupid honorable pride and selfishness. Sorry, I am no longer in your corner.

Frank says, “I thought you would have forgotten about him given enough time.”

“That amount of time doesn’t exist,” is her only reply. And my heart is crushed. And so is Frank’s. So he turns and leaves the house.

The phone rings as he leaves. There’s someone who needs Doctor Claire Randall, PhD.

15. The prisoners are being marched into Ardsmuir square. They are going to be sent to the colonies for 14-year stints as indentured servants for the crown. A couple of guards come to Jamie and drag him away to be hooked up to Lord John. Apparently, he isn’t going to the colonies with Murtagh. Darn it all to hell! So they share a wordless goodbye as Jamie is being pulled by a rope behind John’s horse.

“Where are you taking me?” Jamie finally asks. It seems like a few days, maybe an afternoon, who knows. It’s a traveling montage so we can never really tell. Then they come to a stop. John tells him they’re going to Helwater, the estate of Lord Dunsany and his family. Since Jamie hasn’t been released to go to the colonies, this is the best Lord John can do. He will check in every quarter to make sure he’s doing okay, but he can’t do anything else for him until the Crown deems it so.

“Why are you doing this for me?” Jamie asks. “You owe me nothing. Your brother already paid your debt to me.”

John is so cool here. One of the reasons I love him. “My brother released the family debt to you. I now release the debt I owe to you.” He takes the rope off of Jamie’s wrists and tells him “Shall we go? By the way, they’re not too disposed to the Stuart cause, so don’t tell them you’re a Jacobite. You’ll be a groom until such a time as you’re pardoned.”

16. Back at the hospital, Claire is telling a family member that the person she just helped is fine, and she’ll be on the mend soon. It’s a happy moment for about a flat minute until Abernathy comes in.

“What’s up?” she asks. Abernathy says gravely, “It’s Frank. There’s been an accident.”

“Well it’s about time…” is what her face says. She runs to the morgue because apparently, theirs is the only hospital around. She sees Frank on the slab, starts to cry, puts her hands on his face, and says, “If you are still close enough to hear me, I always loved you. You were my first love.” then she kisses him with tears in her eyes.

Aww. See Frank? You didn’t need to be an adulterous jerk after all. Come on! Haven’t you ever heard the phrase “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” She was everything to you, and all you had to do was lose the pride. Now, look where it’s got you. A wife who misses her husband, that’s what.


All in all a pretty solid episode. There was a lot of stuff at Ardsmuir Prison that could have stretched to another episode, but I understand why it seems they are flying through things. They have 13 episodes to keep to the main arc of the story so they have to rush. I get it. Maybe once they get the two of them together it will slow down a bit. And to be honest, the search part of the novel was a bit dry, so I was really fast-forwarding to the Jamie bits on the second reading. His story seemed a much more interesting than Claire’s. Once they get to the past though, things may speed up like they do in the book. We’ll see.


Until next week I’ll leave you with the Jamie Mooney Eye pic of the week.


EPISODE 302 Surrender

A Definition:
verb (used with object)
1. to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress:
to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to the police.
2. to give (oneself) up, as to the police.
3. to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc.:
He surrendered himself to a life of hardship.
4. to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.).
5. to yield or resign (an office, privilege, etc.) in favor of another.

I added this because of the metaphors of surrendering that happen in this aptly named episode. Every character goes through a type of surrendering, either to the authorities, to their mates, or to the fates that have torn them apart, and those that realize something broken cannot be fixed. Anne Kinney, who wrote the episode, does a wonderful job in bringing the emotions of this theme to life. And Jennifer Getzinger does an excellent job of filming the story so that you see everyone’s eventual coming to terms with the concept. There is no holding back, and it’s a difficult episode to watch as all the characters eventually succumb to life in their new roles. So that is the theme I’m going to explore for this recap. Oh, and yes, you can still expect a little bit of funny, because I wouldn’t have it any other way.
WARNING: I use adult language. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you will know this. Anyone coming here expecting a guy not to dash off a few foul words here and there is living in fantasy. I try to minimize this, but sometimes I can’t hold back. And this will probably be the case with MacGregor, that pig faced piece of shit soldier who does some pretty nasty things to certain members of our beloved cast. Oops there it is. Damn!
Anyway, let’s get to it, shall we?
1. The year is 1752, six years after the events of Culloden. Wee Fergus, Rabbie MacNabb and young Jamie are going through a dovecote at Lallybroch looking for a pistol that Ian presumably stashed there. After a few minutes of searching, Fergus recovers the pistol and starts playing with it. Young Jamie wants to hold it, but Fergus is all, “Dude, it’s like for grownups only so hands off, yeah?” And Rabbie says, “It’s only for warriors.”
Then Fergus starts bragging about how he’s been to war and killed an English soldier with a dagger. Then he gets all wistful about wishing Jamie had taken him to the battle of Culloden. At this point, I’m thinking, “It’s good you didn’t go because you would have had the same fate as many of those in the battle. Oh and let us not forget about the young kids in the hovel last episode.” So, probably not a good idea for you to go, kiddo. Besides, you’re going to be around in Jamie’s life for a while. But not without your own share of tragedies, because as you all know, this is Diana Gabaldon we’re talking about, right?
Then the English show up. Apparently, this is a new guy on the job of trying to find the Dunbonnet. AKA Red Jamie, AKA the King of Men.
Ian and Jenny are adamant that they don’t know where he is. But this guy isn’t having it. That’s when we are introduced to the real bad guy of the episode, in the form of one Corporal Macgregor. This guy is just a piggy eyed frog faced monster, and instantly I hate him. Even when he raises a hand to slap Fergus and calls him “Frog Eater”.


Ryan Fletcher gives us all the great reasons to hate his character. Excellent job, sir. Captain Lewis orders Macgregor to put Ian in custody to find out more of what Ian knows. So they drag him away but not before Ian can tell the kids to “Finish milking and mind your mother.”
While the cart is trundling along past a line of trees, we finally see Red Jamie, as the Dunbonnet.
2. Jamie has a minimal amount of dialogue in this episode, and if you read the book, you’d understand why. A few folks online have commented on this, but if you have read, you’ll see that without anyone to talk to, it’s very hard for him to come back to civilization after so many years of being out in the country alone.
After killing a huge buck, he drags it over his shoulder to Lallybroch. All one hundred fifty pounds of it. Over his shoulder. Because he’s Jamie Fraser, and he can do that. King of Men, remember? As he is walking into the courtyard, he sees someone picking herbs in the garden. When that someone turns around, it’s Claire, smiling at him as though she never left.
Oh, you thought she was back already? Na, brah. It’s a ghost, his imagination playing tricks on him. It’s only Jenny, and she gets spooked and yells at him that she nearly scared the bowels out of her. As anyone would who owed up with a lion’s mane of hair, a beard down to his shirt, and carrying a buck over his shoulder that was twice his size.
Inside, they’re having a discussion about the day’s events while she hands him implements of cutting so he can disembowel the kill.
Fergus wants to go after the British and slit their throats in the night and rescue Ian. Jenny isn’t having any of that though. She’s trying to talk to her brother. Who says absolutely nothing here by the way. “It’s time for the rents, Ian was going to do it but he’s been taken away by the Brits, ye ken? And I’m not lying when I say you haven’t been here because you’re not my brother. Jamie hasn’t been to Lallybroch in six years.”
Jamie keeps pounding away at the deer like, “I hear you talking but I’m hungry and in the mood to brood.”
3. Then we’re in Boston with Claire. She’s just having a nice little dream about a naked Scottish guy with scars on his back and a pair of buttocks you could bounce a quarter off of. I mean, come on sam, was every day of your life butt day? Some online viewers posit that this is, in fact, a stunt double, but I think not. I remember the wedding episode, and that has got to be Sam’s ass.
Not that I looked, because for the sake of it, I don’t care. But I can tell you I had to go back and do some checking out, for research, ye ken. Oh shut up, you did too. Any chance you get to look at Jamie’s butt, you do it. Don’t lie. I mean, look at it!

Not at work! There’s your boss! Minimize! We’ve been through this, remember?
She’s having a downright good dream and then wakes up as the dream Jamie walks toward her. Then she looks over and sees Jamie lying in bed next to her and then comes to the realization that it’s not him. The look on her face is full of disappointment as the camera pans up and we see Frank lying there oblivious to his wife’s nocturnal habits.
It’s Boston in 1948, so only a few months have progressed since Bree was born. She’s reading the morning news about Ireland becoming a free country. Bree starts crying and she notices that the kiddie has turned over, far ahead of schedule according to Doctor Spock, apparently. What did that guy know? In between Vulcan neck pinches, living long and prospering, he wrote a baby book too.
Yes. I am in fact a Star Trek nerd. Anyway, Frank comes down because the boiler stopped putting out hot water, and his shower was ruined. When he sees Claire going gaga over Bree, she explains that she turned over. “Wow, that’s amazing. What will she do next?” he asks. “Probably learn Latin before she’s three, learn to hunt, and have all the appliances modernized by the time she’s four.”
And so as not to put out the Tobias lovers here, I give you a picture of half-naked Frank Randall holding a baby.
Oh, to all the husbands out there, I’m sorry for the unrealistic expectations these photos illicit in your mates, I really do. It’s not my fault. Blame the show, not me.
There’s an uncomfortable moment between the two and then she takes the baby while he goes and gets the boiler worked out. There’s a bit of sexual tension here, and it’s nice to see, but I’m sure it’ll be short-lived.
4. Then we’re back to Jamie, hiding in a cave. Fergus finds him and comes in to talk. He’s got the pistol and wants to learn how to shoot. Jamie tells him there’s not going to be any of that. He wants to be ready the next time there’s a Rising. And Jamie is all, “Dude, that’s a pipe dream. It’ll never happen. Any rebellion will be squashed before it can get off the ground. Let it go.” Fergus is having none of that. He calls Jamie a coward. But Jamie is right. Jamie puts the pistol back in Fergus’ hands and tells him “Go. Put this back where you found it. It’s at this point Fergus has refused to surrender. And this refusal will cost him more than he knows.

Jamie is next seen coming into the courtyard again, and this time is met by Mary MacNabb. He says he has come to look at the legers. Well, naturally she’s all weak in the knees whenever Jamie is around, and can you blame her? Even with a full head of long luxurious red hair and a beard he still looks great. In an “I;m a fierce barbarian that will take you any kind of way I want and you’ll love it” look. He says he’s come to look at the ledgers.
is that.jpg
5. It sounds like a baby is on the way, and here are the kids doing chores. But then Wee Jamie hears a cawing overhead and points out a raven. This has dire consequences for the baby in Scottish folklore. Apparently, when one sees a corby during the birth of a child, it means the baby will be stillborn. Well, it’s Captain Fergus and the raven killers to get the job done. Fergus goes out to find the gun, loads it, and shoots the bird.
But in the process wakes up the local British soldiers who are out and about on patrol.
Jamie also hears the shot and comes to Fergus. The kids try to explain what just happened, but before Jamie can respond, Mary MacNabb comes out and says the baby is fine and healthy. So Jamie keeps his mouth shut and his look to Fergus says, “Good lad, you’re in the clear, for now.” Then he goes in to see his sister and the new baby. Mary admonishes the boys in a line of gibberish I have been unable to decipher after even five viewings. Something about not causing any more tribbles? And I’m like, “Wait, did she just say tribble? Those things are trouble!”
Okay, yeah, I know. Did I not tell you I was a Star Trek geek?
Inside, Jenny is fine and lets Jamie hold the bairn. He’s doing an able job of it while she’s on about his love life. Like big sisters usually are. Trust me, I’ve had five. I know. They will get all up in your business when it comes to your romantic life. “So why not take a wife? I hear a certain Mary MacNabb is looking for a mate, seeing as how her husband died. And she’s still of childbearing age.”
Once again, Jamie is closed mouthed. She keeps on, “It’s been six years, you gotta get hitched. Claire isn’t coming back from where she went. Oh, where did she go, anyway? You never told me.” Because, sis, if he did, you wouldn’t believe him anyway.
“I’m never getting married again,” he says. And then the fucking redcoats show up.
6. Captain Lewis and Macgregor Pigface show up and Jamie has to hide in a closet while they try to figure out where the gun is. About halfway through, Captain Obvious asks, “Did you just deliver a baby? Sorry, my bad. Timing is quite off, isn’t it.”
“The baby died. It was stillborn, the midwife took it away to be buried.” Meanwhile, Jamie is hiding in the closet, or hallway, trying to keep young Ian from crying and alerting Frog Face and the Captain of his presence. That’s when Mary comes in and saves the day by explaining that the gun was used to ward off the Raven but it was too late.
“Silly superstitious nonsense,” says Macgregor. But the captain seems to buy this line of reasoning, because he’s all, “Oh, I’m sorry. We’ll be going then. Oh, but I’ll take the pistol.” Macgregor seems quite disappointed by the fact that he can’t do some other nefarious deeds to the helpless women because he wants to take Mary into custody.
“We have the weapon,” Lewis says, “She’s no threat to us,”
So the redcoats start to leave and as they are going, Jamie rolls a 1 on a sneak check. Macgregor turns to listen again because he heard a squeak in the floor, but Lewis calls him before he can investigate and he sulks down the stairs.
The ladies heave a sigh of relief. Jamie comes in and says they’ve gone. Jenny orders him to dig a grave anyway because they’ll come back and look. She adds “I’ve seen the look of this Captain. He’s not going to give up until you’re hanging on the end of a rope.” Jamie’s look here is one of acceptance, but he’s still unsure of what to do.
7. In Boston, Claire wakes up and starts reaching out for Frank. When he wakes up she says, “I miss my husband.” which is code for “You’re not Jamie Fraser, but you’re technically still my husband so you’ll do in a pinch.” and I’m kind of not liking Claire here because you just know she’s using Frank for sex. Which is unfair to him because he’s with her, and he’s thinking “Aww yeah, Claire is back to me now.” But she’s really not. She just wants some horizontal badonkadonk and he’s the closest man.

No sir I don’t like it.
8. So the British troops bring Ian back because he didn’t tell them anything. Macgregor tells Ian that they’re searching to the north and south. Eventually, they will find Red Jamie.
Later, Fergus decides to go on a walkabout. Macgregor and another soldier follow him. Fergus knows this and leads them on a wild goose chase through the forest. He’s taunting them all the way, calling them “Stupid English kinnikits, go boil your bottoms you sons of a silly person! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!” Well, they aren’t taking any of it, and give chase. Fergus starts to run but he instead falls for the biggest trope in all of cinema, the Dramatic Slip trope.
Well, Macgregor is on him like a shot, scoops him up and demands to know the whereabouts of Jamie Fraser. He’s up there on that ridge watching if you must know. But only the viewers know that. Then Macgregor a coward and all kinds of other names. Macgregor gets pissed, naturally, throws him down on a fallen branch, and proceeds to cut off Fergus’ hand.
This is the fans at this moment…
Well the redcoats ride off, and Corporal Ass Face tells the other troops to leave the Frog Eater to die.


Once out of sight, Jamie storms down the hill and saves the poor lad. Because he learned how to make a tourniquet from Claire. See, she’s not even here and she’s saving lives.
9. Later, Jamie is pacing in the hallway, when Jenny comes down and says, “It’s okay. He’s going to be fine. Your quick thinking saved his life.” At which point, Jamie is relieved by the news and breaks down. And it is heartbreaking. Because we don’t like it when Daddy cries. This is the point in the show where the theme of the episode starts for all the characters. And it’s right at the halfway point.
Fergus is the first one to surrender to the fact that there will be no more rebellion. Their lives are changed, and this latest brush with the redcoats has proven it. “But I am now a man of leisure,” he tells Jamie at the end of their conversation. Jamie has mad respect for the kid. “You showed me what it means to be a fighter,” Which he will do in future.
But right now, Fergus has to sleep because he’s got a lot of wiskey in him.
10. We are in Boston again, having a dinner party for Millie and Jerry. They’re all talking about dinner, and how whatever it is they’re eating is damn delicious. Millie and Jerry are fawning all over each other. And Jerry is all, “She’s not a bad cook, but she has talents elsewhere,”


While the two lovebirds are kissing each other and making gewgaw faces at each other, Frank and Claire share an uncomfortable silence.
And I’m wondering why they are showing Millie and Jerry here, and my spider senses tell me there might just be an issue surrounding Frank’s infidelities and a next-door neighbor in future. Because she wasn’t in the book to my recollection. (I would remember, seeing as how I’ve read the thing six times)
Later, after the lovey-dovey couple has gone, there’s time for another lovey-dovey couple. Claire goes for Frank and starts seducing him, and he’s into it for a few minutes in front of the fireplace. He keeps asking her to open her eyes

Well, Frank realizes at that moment that he is not the one Claire is imagining, and he stops. He knows full well what is happening here. And this moment is his personal surrender. He gives up trying to make it work. Trying to have a real marriage when she is still stuck on Jamie is impossible. He so much as tells her this. “When I’m with you, I’m with you. When you’re with me, you’re with him.”
And I am sad for Frank. He may as well be a pony racing against a stallion.
11. Jamie and Ian talk about missing body parts and how they still hurt. Fergus will always have that phantom arm pain. You don’t get over that type of loss. Then Ian says, “Claire was your heart,” and trails off before adding “And ye lost her too.” Jamie walks down a hallway and sees his coat of arms hanging on the wall with a saber slash through it. Mary comes to him and he asks, “Who did this,” to which she’s all, “The redcoats, duh.” and he realizes that they’ll never stop searching for him.
So he talks to Jenny and Ian and tells them he’ll surrender to the British. “Tell them when I’m going to show up again, and they’ll capture me. Then you’ll get the reward.” Jenny has huge reservations about this, because she thinks he will be hanged. Jamie is thinking, “Good, I’m on borrowed time anyway.” but Ian is the optimist of the group and says that “Jamie will probably be put in prison.” because apparently, the Brits have cooled on killing traitors in the past seven years.
12. Back in the forest, Mary MacNabb stalks toward Jamie’s cave.

She is bringing him food, a shave, and a haircut (two bits) before he goes off to prison. She cleans him up rather nicely. I can actually see Jamie under all that hair. After all that, she starts getting undressed and he’s not having any of it. “What the hell are you doing?” he says, and she’s all, “Come on, we both need this. I know I can’t be Claire, and you can’t be my husband, but we need each other.” And he relents and sheds a tear when he’s thinking of Claire. It’s so heartbreaking. This is another surrender for him.
Of all the characters in this episode, he is the one who does the most of it. Surrendering to the fact that he can’t keep his family safe, to the fact that he will never see Claire, and surrendering to the authorities to begin the next stage of his life post Culloden. He doesn’t want to give up the past, but at this point he has to in order for healing and change to begin.
13. We are back in Boston, where Claire is going about her daily duties as a housewife. She’s basically going through the motions every day trying to pick up her life after the stones and everything she experienced in the past. Now she is looking toward the future. And that future includes going to school to become a doctor.
Only, that is going to be harder than she thought because of the stereotypical mid forties male dominated society that thinks women should be in the kitchen making babies and cooking dinner. She goes to her first class, Anatomy 101, where the instructor looks at her like she has a mole growing out of her skin. After she introduces herself, he’s all, “Oh yeah, they let women in class, I also have a Negro. How progressive.” Her expression says it all here.

how about.jpg

Then, she tries to walk up to find a seat, and all the pasty white guys coming in to class are standoffish and mean toward her. One guy even blocks the way to a seat. I wanted her to shove him aside in good old Claire Fraser style but she has to play nice if she’s going to get ahead in this new world. So she finds another place.
Then, young Sidney Poitier comes in and sits near her. Actually, it’s Doctor Abernathy. Well, he’s not a doctor yet. And I understand why they deviated from the book here, because the way they meet in Voyager is kind of funny and involves a novel about the dread pirate Valdez and “teasing the membrane of her innocence.”
They make friends quickly because they are both outsiders in a white male dominated society. And I’m still holding out hope of the romance novel aspect. There’s still a few episodes we can see that so come on, Ron & Co, make it happen.
After this, we see Frank and Claire talking about domestic stuff while getting ready for bed. She turns, says, “Goodnight,” and turns off the lamp by the side of her bed. When we pan back, we see not one, but two beds. “Oh great,” I’m thinking. “We’ve landed in an I Love Lucy episode. And here is another surrender. They both have accepted the fact that they will never have a marriage like before Craig na dun. They are in it for Bree at this point, and that kid is keeping them together. Sure, they love each other, but the closeness is gone. Thiers will be a passionless marriage lacking any affection.
14. Here’s Jamie, walking into the courtyard of Lallybroch like, “I’m home, y’all!” it’s at this point the Brits come out and point guns at him and put him under arrest. Jamie and Jenny make a big show of it, and she acts like she really hates him. “I’ll never forgive you!” she screams at last, tears in her eyes. She doesn’t mean it, but it’s still something that hurts to say. And this is her surrender. She has to let her brother go, not knowing if and when she will ever see him again. While its something that needs to be done, it doesn’t make it any harder to actually do.
The Captain gives her the reward, “Here’s you twenty pieces of silver, madam.” and as they are loading Jamie into the cart, she tuns into the house. Great Job, Laura Donnelly, can’t wait to see you again. That last part you showed about seventeen different emotions in one second. Loss, hatred, heartbreak, anger, frustration, and acceptance all in a moment. Beautiful work.
As the cart rolls over the muddy path, we see the brown hat in the dirt, and the Dunbonnet part of Jamie’s life is finally over.
15. Then, there’s Claire walking across a bridge and she hears a bagpiper playing “Scotland The Brave.” How convenient, a bagpiper in a Boston park. Can she get any more reminders of the past she had to let go of? She leaves him a tip and walks off into the darkness as the credits roll.
All in all, a pretty solid episode. I’m amazed at how much they pack into each show. When I heard there were only 13 episodes in this season, I was confused as to what they were going to cut. But it turns out, the narrative they picked up follows almost directly to the novel. Are there deviations? Sure, there always will be in an adaptation. But the story is still Voyager and seems to be the same as a book I put in my top 5 favorites of all time.
Next up, the search for Jamie. I’m excited to see Roger and Bree take off in the next few episodes. It’ll be fun to watch their romance bloom. I’m also excited to see the meeting between Jamie and Lord John at Ardsmuir prison. Yep, that’s going to be a fun episode to watch, for sure.
Now here it is, your Mooney Eye Jamie pic of the week.



Episode 301 The Battle Joined


And we are back! What’s it been, a year and a half already? Glad you all stayed with me, and welcome to the new folks. There’s been a lot of changes to the world in the last several months, but one thing that won’t change: our undying love for all things Outlander, am I right? Thankfully, we have season three, which is the adaptation of many of our favorite novels in the series, Voyager. This is the one that really sucked me in and made me really love the series. It flew faster than the other two combined. Not that I didn’t like the first two books, but this one was hands down the best of the three when it came out. I will admit that DIA was a bit of a slog, but my sister told me to keep reading because Voyager was going to rock the socks.

Boy am I glad I did. So welcome back everyone, and thanks for reading. Let’s get to it, aye?

I’m not going to post a spoiler alert because you’ve already all seen it and if you haven’t, go ahead and watch. I’ll wait. Yeah, right. No, I won’t. You came here for Kiltlander goodness, and who am I to slow down the proceedings, right?

Oh, and for the new folks, I like to use adult language, so if a few F-words and S-words bother you, now’s the time to leave prior to complaining about it, you know?


1. “He was dead.” Probably the first best line I’ve ever read. And Sam pulls it off with a masterful grace. He manages to do so much emotion with only eyes and breathing. I love the fact there is no music, it is simply the ‘music’ of the soldiers going through the dead bodies and Sam’s breathing. Before all of this, we see the men who fought lying in heaps and piles where they were cut down. The English soldiers are going through the dead, killing the wounded and looting the bodies. Jamie keeps still through all of this.

Then there’s a young lad who is naturally frightened and can’t keep still. Jamie keeps looking at him as if to say, “Calm down, you little twerp, you’re going to draw attention to us!” but alas, the kid fails and we see him stabbed by a wandering English soldier wielding a bayonet.

All during the next few minutes we see Jamie reliving all the event that led up to his miserable fate lying under the dead body of Jonathan Woolverton Randal Esquire, AKA Black Jack Randall. There’s a scene where Jamie relives the moment when Claire went through the stones, where he rides back to camp right before the battle and Mark Me Charlie is still under the impression he will win the day. TThen the scene where the generals are urging Charles to make a decision, and they finally do when Jamie steps up and says, “We must order the charge. If we sit here we’ll all be doomed.” and the rest of the generals say, “Yeah, that’s pretty much it,” while a cannon barrage is going on around them.

Then it’s the charge and everybody is running pell mell into the horde of British soldiers killing, hacking, and suffocating them with piles of grass. And then there’s Murtagh! And the crowd goes wild at seeing this fan favorite for the first time in a year.


Then apparently, the Highlanders rally and make another charge into the bristling teeth of the English muskets. And they are cut down like a scythe to the wheat. Luckily, the English are only able to get a couple of volleys off before they are met with the cold Scottish steel. While Jamie is hacking and killing we see a familiar face in the form of one dastardly villain: Black Jack Randall. And this is what we’ve all been waiting for.


This fight goes on for quite a few minutes and goes down precisely as we wanted to see it. Jamie getting revenge for all the awful crap that Randall did to him. The beatings, the rape, the degradation, you name it. This is where our hero gets his revenge. And it is beautiful to watch. At one point I was yelling, “Yeah, stab him! Twist that knife! Make it hurt! This segues into a beautiful ballet of death, where Randall actually reaches out to Jamie with a plaintive, almost loving look on his face. At that moment, once again, I see the brilliance in Tobias Menzies’ brilliant style of bringing humanity to what could have been a mustache twirling one-dimensional Snidely Whiplashian character. Then he falls on Jamie and they go down in a heap and they both collapse into each other like lovers.

2. Black Jack is finally dead. Thanks to the production team for giving us a battle royale we didn’t get to see in the books. Nothing against Diana Gabaldon here, but if you are a fan of swashbuckling adventure and seeing dastardly villains getting their comeuppance, readers were expecting some kind of showdown. The fact we didn’t get it in the books made many of us say, “Aww…” (But not enough to put down the book and stop reading.)

To have it in the show was awesome. And everything and more that we wanted as fans.

3. Then it is nightfall, and we see Claire walking through the dead bodies toward Jamie. She is clad all in white, her hair perfect, bleached white skin against a grey black background. He’s fading in and out but in that moment she touches him and he breathes, and she says, “Are you alright, Jamie?” At this point, he’s probably thinking he’s in heaven because I’m sure he knows that’s where Claire is and he’s going as well. But it is only Rupert and a couple of guys come to take him to safety in a house nearby.

4. Now we are in 20th century Boston, with Claire and Frank. They’re walking around a pretty large house and she asks, “Are you sure we can afford all of this?” and he’s all, “Sure, we’ll manage. It’ll be tight but we’ll be fine.” It’s interesting to see the distance between these two this entire episode. They still haven’t gotten back to each other yet, and it shows. Of course, he wants to, but she is still in Scotland.

She tries to do the domestic goddess routine but it’s hard for her to get into the flow of things when the last two years she’s been without hot and cold running water, a good bathtub, and an oven that works. Which this one doesn’t so she goes to the store and buys a bunch of firewood.

While she is unloading, Mrs. Busybody Neighbor comes over to help and kibitz and ask a lot of prying questions like, “Are you enjoying Boston?” and “How did you learn to cook on a fireplace grate?” to which Claire opens her mouth and says, “My uncle taught me.”


The looks that Claire goes through here when Busybody Neighbor is talking are priceless. And you know what husband Claire is thinking about when  Busybody says, “You’re lucky, you won’t find another husband like Frank again.” to which Claire is thinking, “Baby, you have no idea.” because she had the King of Men wrapped around her pretty little finger.

5. Then we are back in Scotland, where Rupert Mackenzie is tending to a wounded Jamie. Then he goes to talk to another guy who we’ve not met yet about running away. But they both tend to think they can’t get anywhere because the British are still “Thick as lice,” Besides, Rupert is Jamie’s friend, and he has too much honor to leave him here among the dead and dying wounded Highlanders.

6. With Jamie’s close up, we cut to the Present again, with Claire in front of a mirror getting ready to go meet the boss. Who turns out to be a total asshat, by the way. He’s talking all smug about how Truman isn’t going to be a great president and isn’t going to be elected again, and then Claire has the audacity to open her mouth and start talking. Which rubs the guy the wrong way, as if to say, “Wait, a woman is speaking about politics? How dare she?”

At one point, there’s a woman sitting next to another poindexter looking guy silently thinking “Shut up girl, women aren’t supposed to talk. They’re only here to look nice.”

This dude keeps going on about how women can’t do things like be lawyers and doctors, and Claire stands up for women doctors because she is one. They also have let them into Harvard medical school, but this guy brushes that off to the fact that “Eleanor Roosevelt and her ‘Agitators’”

Later, Frank and Claire are walking home and he knows something is up. When he asks, “Are you alright?” she answers, “I’m fine.” which is woman speak for “I am definitely not fine. I am a thousand miles away from fucking fine! And when I decide to talk to you again, you will find our how distant from ‘Fine’ I am, mister!”

SIDE NOTE: What’s with the fucking college professor? What a misogynistic asshole, right? Well…. In his defense.. (Uh oh, here we go, defending the guy) no, really, it’s the nineteen forties. That’s how most men thought. Sure, ladies had the vote, but no other real rights to do anything outside the ordinary. They were expected to be home when they got married and cook dinner, raise the kids, and greet the man with fresh lipstick, a cold beer, and dinner on the table when he walked in the door from work. They weren’t doctors, lawyers, and certainly not Indian Chiefs. They were secretaries, receptionists, and shop clerks. When motherhood hit, they were expected to be home raising the young’ uns. Remember Mad Men? That’s how it was for ladies. I agree it sucked, but that was the prevalent mood at the time considering the status of Women in the country. It’s as if Rosie the Riveter put away her machines and put on aprons and baby making gear when the boys came home. And Claire wants to be a surgeon some day? Good luck. (Oh, she does later on, because she’s awesome like that.)

7. In the morning, back in the hovel, the British arrive. Lord Melton, AKA Lord John Grey’s brother, comes in to tell the men that he has been tasked with executing traitors in one hour. He asks Rupert if there are any men who claim their innocence.

Grant O’Rourke kills this episode. In more ways than one. I love his character, and it’s beautifully written. As well as acted. Grant does some amazing things with just a touch of dialogue. “Traitors all,” he says resignedly. He knows what’s coming. There’s no surprise. He’s all, “Well you found us, we weren’t really hiding, but we kinda wished you’d not have found us, ye ken?”

Then Melton says, “In that case, I’ll have to kill you all in one hour. If anyone wants a few pages and a pen to write home, he’ll give them that. Then he leaves, and all the men are looking at each other like, “Well, that’s it then.”

8. The fight begins. This is where Claire and Frank have to have a heart to heart about everything. She is probably going to have the baby soon, and He wants to know a few things. Namely, why American Tea is so awful and English tea is better. (He’s right, you know. But I have to add that Southern Sweet tea from North Carolina is best.)

He has been trying to be nice by talking about bacon and eggs and all kinds of simple domestic issues. That’s when she lays a bomb on him that she wants to become an American Citizen. Then he bristles a bit because they are English and well, you know, that whole independence thing still sticks in his craw. And then he mentions several names of English history, one of them being Stuarts and that’s when it amps up.

He just wants her to come back from the past. She has tried, and he’s all, “I’m thinking about the baby we have agreed to raise together. “ Now she won’t let him touch her and he’s confused. She screams, “What do you want, a good fuck?” and he’s all, “Well, at least I’m not the one who’s been fucking other people!” And then she throws an ashtray at him, which narrowly misses.


He puts on his coat and says, “I’m not keeping you here. You want to leave, then go. I’m here, I’ve already told you the bargain, if you can’t come to terms with that, it’s your choice. Stay or go.” Then she starts crying as he walks out the door and this shot is brilliant. Two people at opposite ends of the frame, a wide shot of the hallway, and the gulf between them couldn’t be wider.


SIDE NOTE: The fight, from Frank’s point of view. Since I am a man after all. I will have to take his side. Sorry, ladies, just hear me out. Here’s a guy, in love with the girl he’s married and only seen a handful of times up til the famous second honeymoon in Scotland. He’s got his whole life ahead of him. With his wife, Claire. They are there a few days before he sees a Highlander’s ghost and the next day his wife disappears.

For two years.

And when she comes back she’s pregnant.
With another man’s child.
Spouting a ridiculous story about faerie circles and Scottish Highlanders and the battle of Culloden.
As a man, it’s a hard story to swallow, but he does for the sake of the child.
Which he has chosen to raise with her because it’s what an honorable guy would do.
And every time you want to touch her, she shies away because you aren’t HIM.
Oh, and you also remind her of the most horrible sadistic villain of all time.

So tell me why we shouldn’t have a bit of sympathy for the guy? Just a little? He’s fucking upset, what do you think he’s supposed to do, bring her flowers every day and rekindle the romance? She’s dreaming about a hot hunky Scottish Highlander with a heart of gold and other parts that are just as strong. Frank pales in comparison. So yes, I get why he’s upset. He’s fucking trying for Christ’s sake! Give the guy a break. He’s going to get angry. He’s going to yell every now and then. He’s going to be a bit batshit nuts about the whole circumstance. Ask a guy, you’d get the same answer.

9. Then we go back to the hovel, where the men are being led out to be shot. When the British come to the two boys Rupert tells Melton, “They’re just boys, they didn’t have any choice in what they were doing. Spare them, please.” To which Melton says, “I can’t, I have orders to execute all traitors, regardless of age.” This is heartbreaking because these kids can’t be any more than eighteen, with their whole lives ahead of them. Hell, they probably haven’t even kissed a girl yet. And here we have the sad fact of war. It spares no age limit. Rupert tells the kids, “Chin up, go out like men.”

The guy who is tending Jamie asks him if he wants to write a letter to family, or to his wife, and Jamie just replies, “She’s gone.” Then the guys asks, “Where did she go?” Just two hundred years from now is all, mate. But Jamie can’t tell him that. Obviously.

And we hear the inevitable gunshots an the whole place goes silent as we see the anguish on all the men and the realization of the impending finality of it all.

After that, they ask for a volunteer, and Killick stands up to get his punishment. These guys are brave as hell. They take their punishment like men. Sure, they’re scared, but even men who are scared can be brave and do things others couldn’t.

Rupert and Jamie get into a heart to heart about Angus, who snored the most, and Rupert says, “It’ll be good to see him again.” to which Jamie says, “It’ll be good to see you both together again.” See, Jamie still thinks he’s going to be shot. Which is what he wants. Rupert says, “I’m still angry for what you did to Dougal, but I won’t judge you for it, that’s up to you and the maker.”

Rupert then gets up and volunteers to be shot. Still cheeky to the end, he tells the men, “I mean to set a quick pace, so try to keep up.” Then he goes out to meet his eventuality. When we hear the shots, Jamie says in Gaelic, “Farewell Rupert.”

And here’s another shout out to the director. He parallels Jamie’s face on the right side of the screen as we fade to

10. Frank’s face on the left side surrounded in darkness. He’s lying on the couch, trying to get some sleep while hearing everything in the house that makes noise. The boiler is going, the faucet is dripping, he’s unable to sleep because he’s thinking about the fight from earlier. Then a thought occurs to him and he gets up to write a letter.

“Dear Reverend Wakefield,” he starts. “I would like you to help me in finding information on a Scottish Highlander named James Fraser.” He gets to that part when Claire comes down and says, “We havin’ a baby, let’s go.”

Frank is up like a shot. “I’ll warm up the car,” he says.

11. Lord Melton is told that all the ambulatory men have been executed and now it’s down to the guys who can’t move. “Should we shoot them lying down?” he asks. To which Melton yells, “No, sit them up for god’s sake!” Ever the honorable man, this guy. Not only in this book, but in every one after. He really isn’t so bad of a guy, just doing his duty and trying to be a good guy at the same time.

When they get to the question of who is to go first, Jamie volunteers. They ask his name and he tells them “Jamie AllPerfect MoonyEye MacHunkington Fraser” (You’re welcome) Melton turns around at hearing the Fraser name and walks back over to him. “James Fraser?” he asks. Jamie’s all, “Yeah, Duh!” and Melton asks if he remembers a kid named John Grey. At first Jamie is confused. Then Melton tells him, He tried to kill you that one time and you spared his life.”

that guy.jpg

Melton now has a conundrum on his hands. Here’s the most notorious criminal of England laying at his mercy and he has to spare his life because some debt of honor. His adjutant is all, “We could kill him under an alias,” but Melton’s Honor won’t have any of it. “I’m not going to have this guy’s life on my head.” He orders the adjutant to get a cart and someone who can be bribed to take Jamie away in the night. Jamie keeps asking to be shot. But Melton’s all, “Not on my watch, boyo.”

I love how they kept this scene from the book exactly like it was written. It’s such an iconic scene, and there really wasn’t any reason to change even an iota of dialogue. It’s one more thing I like about the writing staff when they see something that is integral to the plot and keep it as it should be kept.

Then we see a cart taking our intrepid hero home to be tended to by his family at Lallybroch.

12. Claire and Frank are at the hospital, where the doctor introduces Claire to 20th century medical procedures. After asking about any other complications she’s had, Claire says, “Well, I had a miscarriage once.“ Frank seems surprised at this information, and so am I because I thought this was something that she would have told him in the confession from the premier of season 2. Dude’s all, “That’s fine, let’s get through this and we’ll have a nice good talk about what else you’re keeping from me.“

The doctor then wheels her into the delivery room and gives her a sedagive that knocks her out so presumably they won’t be hearing the screams of the ladies. Meanwhile, Frank is ushered to the Father’s waiting room because god forbid the man should go into the delivery room. My we certainly have come a long way haven’t we? I was in the room for both my kids and had to hear every scream, insult, and epithet known to man while the mother of my children were being delivered. I envy Frank that he didn’t have to go through that. I’m sure Claire could have gone a long way with “Bloody this,“ and “bloody that,” and “If Jamie were here right now she’d cut off his fucking bollocks!”

I love how right before she goes out, she calls the doctor a “Bastard.”

13. After a perilous journey, Jamie finally makes it home in one piece. Jenny and Ian are there, welcoming him home, and it’s a welcome surprise to see them both in the first episode. I wasn’t expecting that. I kind of figured that the cart would go off into the sunset and we wouldn’t see them until next episode. We also get to see the majestic home of Lallybroch again. It’s as if they made every effort to impress and let us see all the sights we wanted to this episode, just to get us back into the Outlanderverse again.

14. Claire wakes up and starts asking about her baby, ala shades of Episode 207 Faith. And you can’t blame her. She’s asking for her baby, just like in that episode because reasons. The nurse comes in and says, “It’s fine, you had a girl. Frank brings in Baby Bree and shows the girl to her.

In that moment, they come together as a family, and she admits she’s been horrible to him and he’s past that because he wants to have the child as a father and mother and let the past be behind them. It’s a happy moment, and he’s out of the doghouse when this happens.

baby red

Now you all know, this whole love triangle couldn’t be solved in that one moment, didn’t you?

END NOTE: All in all a pretty solid episode. It opened up the story and I like how they put more emphasis on Frank and his struggles to find out what the hell is happening to his wife. The Jamie storyline was great because now we get the next few episodes of him being an outlaw, a prisoner, and a groomsman for the Dunsany family. And book readers know how that turns out. I’m not going to spoil it here, but I am going to eventually weigh in on that whole controversy when it blows up the web in a few weeks. Until then, I’ll see you all next week with another Recap.

Now here it is, your Jamie MoonyEye pic of the week.



213 Dragonfly in Amber

Well, here it is. The last episode and the start of Droughtlander 2.5. It’s been a pretty good season so far. Yes, there’ve been some hiccups along the way and not everyone has been happy with the adaptation. However, they did a great job with the source material and hit all the high points. I’ll give a more detailed POV of the season a bit later when I’ve gone through everything a bit later. But for now, let’s get on with the recap shall we?

1. So Roger is watching “The Avengers”, a popular show back in 1968. Well, he’s obviously sad about something or other. Fiona, Mrs. Graham’s granddaughter comes in to tell him that the guests are awaiting him.


And I’m thinking, “Wait a minute, what are we doing in the future? I thought this was going to be the battle of Culloden we’ve been building up to all this season.”

2. Is that an adult Claire? Wow, she’s gotten old. Nice hair though, right? Anne Bancroft anyone?

SIDE NOTE: I think they aged her too much. I didn’t imagine she had any grey in her hair when I read the book. Maybe it was mentioned, but then again I have an idea in my head as to what Claire looks like, it remains unchanged for some reason. Does anyone else think that?

Roger goes on with a poem about glasses clinking and everyone must be drinking, and Claire can go along with that because, alcohol. Apparently, Roger is mourning his adoptive father, Reverend Wakefield. And I’m going to miss his “Poppycock and falderal and fiddle faddle.”

3. Then a woman who looks just like Mrs. Fitz and sounds just like Mrs. Fitz but really isn’t Mrs. Fitz tells Roger, “He always had a sense of humor.” and it’s a cute little nod to when Mrs. Graham said the same thing to Claire in episode 1.

But then Roger sees Brianna Randal in all her blue dressed splendor, and goes to see who it is, but not before being stopped by several guests who wish to give him condolences on his father’s death.


Roger goes to find her, but she instead finds him. “Are you Roger Wakefield?” she asks, and after fumbling for about two seconds he says, “Yes, baby doll, I’d be anybody for a dame like you.” Because he knows he’s going to try to get with this girl totally. I mean, like get together and make all her babies.

She introduces herself as Brianna Randall, and soon Claire shows up to say her hellos. And I swear there are times when she is looking at him like, “I want to make all the babies with you.”

tall glass meme

So during the conversation Roger realizes its Claire Randall. Yes, That Claire Randall, the “Went through the stones and came back three years later Claire Randall.” Brianna says she’s going to Harvard for History, and he’s going to Oxford for the same thing. Mrs. Graham is no longer in the employ of Reverend Wakefield because she was lost some time ago. Just disappeared one day, don’t know what happened. Said she was going to collect some blue flowers at some stones nearby. Never came back.

But Fiona is here, and she also wants to make all the babies with Roger. Then Claire says she has to go take a look around and relive some old memories so she lets the two kids try to make awkward small talk with each other.

Richard gamely tries the “Been to Scotland before?” pickup line after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. She says, “No. we just came up for the day. We have to go to London in a few minutes. After Mom does her relive the past montage.”

“That’s a shame. It’s a beautiful wild country, where beautiful people like to get wild…”

Then Fiona comes up and interrupts because she’s seeing her future husband talking to his future wife and she is having none of it.

cut you

Roger excuses himself and goes to see to his guests while Claire wanders around the fireplace and looks at all the ghosts of her past.

Later, the three of them meet as Claire and Brianna are leaving. He asks if they’ll stay the night, and Brianna says, “Yes, I’d like to see the sights. I hear it’s a beautiful wild country,” wink wink, nudge nudge, oh my god I want to have all his babies.

4. Claire is in the study, drinking, and Roger comes in to chat. We find out he’s a Mackenzie when they talk about Culloden.
He misses the Reverend and asks, “How do you go on without someone you loved so much?” and Claire is all, “You just wake up every day and breathe in and out and forget how you had it good for a while.”

Then she goes back into her room after thanking him for the whiskey. She’s looking at Brianna just lying there asleep and says, “You are so much like him.” and the audience goes, “Awww…”

5. Then we are back on that fateful day. April 16th, 1746. Jamie and Charlie have a chat about the battle, and Jamie is still imploring the Ponce to not go to battle with the troops now. They’re malnourished, and they will surely loose.
“Mark me, James,” the prince says, and my head twitches again. “You are my doubting Thomas.” and he goes into the whole story of when Thomas didn’t believe in Jesus even when he showed him the holes in his hands. “Before this day is over I will make a believer of you.” No, Poncey, you aren’t Jesus. Give it up, yeah?

So Jamie goes to Claire, saying that it was a blessing Colum didn’t live to see this day. Murtagh’s eyebrows show up and alert them that the army of Cumberland is moving out, taking positions. Claire tells him to go tell the generals what’s going on.

“The Prince won’t back down from this, the battle will happen.” And Claire says, “Well, there’s maybe one last thing we can do then. Come with me.”

6. Roger and Brianna are out seeing the sights. After a wonderful montage of the Scottish Highland scenery, they finally get to Fort William. Yes, THAT Fort William.
In Gaelic it’s called the Black Garrison. “Used to control the Scottish highlanders and roving barbarians.” So by way of a first date you bring her to where her father’s back was flogged to ribbons by a rapey douchebag and her grandfather had a massive coronary just watching that spectacle of ugliness. Good on yer.

They discuss colonial history in the states and Roger gets a huge piece of American history trivia wrong. But that’s okay since she thinks he’s cute and wants to have all his babies. Then she tries to give her best Scottish accent and fails that. So they’re even in the “Getting things wrong as a way of flirting” game.

Then she asks about her father. Frank, not Jamie. Because he doesn’t know that story yet. (Don’t worry, it’s coming)He remembers Frank as “…a dashing fellow, who wore snappy clothes and a hat down over one eye. Oh, and mostly crackers and biscuits and something about time travel? But I was only five so I don’t remember all that. And at the time Mrs. Graham was just plain wonky all the time anyway. Good biscuits by the way.”

She looks at the Flogging post and says, “This place gives me the chills.” and with good reason. The ghost of your Grandfather haunts this place, dear heart. And I don’t even want to discuss what happened to your Da one day over 200 years ago.

“A lot of blood was spilled here, on this ground.” he says, “So, want to go get some latte’s?”

7. Then it’s Claire driving through a montage of the Scottish highlands. She gets to a very famous house that was one her home, and it’s been run down. But wait, is that Claire in glasses? Hot stuff, girl!

Then this scene just starts to wreck me when she gets out of the car and starts reliving the memories of all the things that happened here. Meeting Wee Jamie for the first time, the Potatoes, Jamie’s first argument with Jenny, and other sentimental memories. Then she sits down on the stoop and just looks wistfully at the arched entryway and sees Jamie’s ghost and I think it’s at this point when the hankies came out for everyone.

8. 1746 again. Claire and Jamie are having a discussion about how to stop the battle. They go inside one of the rooms of Culloden house. There, Claire brings out a potion, the Yellow Jasmine. She explains it’s what Colum took last night, before he died. “If we were to give it to Chuckles, he would die and the battle wouldn’t happen, right?”

“But that’s a mortal sin,” he says. And she explained that he knew it was his last days and wanted a quick death. Then, she says she’s been treating the prince for scurvy for weeks. If I put this in his tea, he would drift off to death, and no one would ever know.

And all this could have been settled a long time ago in Paris when Murtagh wanted to do the same thing. As always, cutting the Gordian knot trick is the easiest.

9. Bree and Roger are on a picnic discussing her mother. “Was there a dark time here a long time ago concerning my mother?” Roger explains the scene from episode 1 with the breaking of the boxes and Claire crying but doesn’t know what happened. “Apparently Frank had a bad temper. I mean he was this close from turning to the dark side, you know?”

Bree then explains that one day “I was going through my father’s stuff when I was a kid because I’m nosy like that. He mentioned something in a letter to the Reverend saying that he didn’t want the Rev to look into his ancestor Jack Randall anymore because he found out he wasn’t the hero that Frank thought he was.”

Roger says, “There’s a bunch of journals in my father’s garage we could go through to find out what happened. It’s a bit grubby though.”


10. Claire is in Inverness, just a few houses down from the bed and breakfast that she spent that fateful night with Frank on their honeymoon so long ago. She goes into the Deed of Registry office to find out what’s going on with Lallybroch.

Well, within minutes I’m assuming because this secretary is awesome at finding old documents that are literally unprotected by anything resembling plastic or glass. She’s holding the Deed of Sassine that Claire signed back in 1746.

“It’s signed James Allperfect MoonyEye MacHunkington Fraser, and gives it to James Murray. It’s witnessed by what looks to be the most beautiful eyebrows in history and Claire Fraser, with a drop on the page because she may have been crying at the time?”

“Yep, that’s the case. Anyway, could you do me a favor and see about a genealogical study of a guy named Roger Mackenzie? Kthnx.”

11. Later that night, in the girl’s room, Bree and Claire are talking about Roger and how handsome he is and how they want to have all his babies. Claire asks where they went today, and Bree’s all, “We went to Fort William, you ever go there?”

fort william

Then they talk about Frank, and Bree asks if “…she misses him, because sometimes it doesn’t feel like you do.” and she asks, “Did you love him?” “Yes, I loved your father very much,” Claire answers. Which is the truth because we all know who the girl’s dad is.

12. 1746. Claire and Jamie are discussing the cold blooded murder of Poncey. It’s a logical decision for Claire, because “…the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one. We can kill him to save thousands of lives. It’s total star trek shit, I know, but if it works for Spock, it’ll work here.”

Unbeknownst to them, Dougal is listening outside the door and hears this plot. Then Ross comes in to announce to Jamie that they’re calling the men to come form lines. “Dude, I’ll be right there, got to conspire to kill the Prince with my wife here.”
Well, never one to waste an opportunity to kill his nephew, he enters, rage the only thing on his mind at the moment. He calls Jamie a “Son of a bastard,” and Claire a “Filthy whoring witch.”


13. (wow this one is long. I mean really, there is a lot going on here, huh?) Speaking of filthy whoring witches, Geillis Duncan shows her pretty little head here quite coincidentally in the school that Bree and Roger go to for some reason. I literally have no idea where this is. Is it supposed to be Oxford? Please, someone tell me.

They part for a few minutes and Bree goes walking through the area, (dressed really cute in this miniskirt and black leggings get up by the way)and manages to find the one room in all the school that Geillis Duncan is railing about the British government.

She lists off heroes of Scotland, and gets to Bonnie Prince Charlie and goes on about how “We are all Bonnie Prince Charlie!” and everyone is inspired by this wacky broad in a orange and red outfit.

Later, Bree confronts Geillis about her speech and they get into a history discussion about this king and that king and the other king, and it’s all pretty much a snooze fest because there are some in the audience who want to see somebody in this show start kissing and making babies. Come on, Outlander! Where has the sexy times been this season. We’ve had one! ONE! Instance all season. And season one had about twelve dozen. Isn’t it about time somebody went there already?! This is what your fans want!

“So if you’re not a student, and you’re an American, why are you here?” and Bree says, “Oh I like history being made, that’s all.” Then Roger comes up and She introduces herself as Gillian Edgars.

Gillian hands Bree a pamphlet for the “White Roses of Scotland” and tells her about another rally near here later on. “We’ll be making history,” she says, and winks.

14. Claire is visiting the Culloden museum where there is a life like replica of Poncey in all his Stuart clad glory. A guy tells Claire, “He was a great general.” and Claire says, “No, he was mostly an ignorant whoring jerk who said ‘Mark Me’ all the damn time.”

Then a couple are looking in another case and see “Something in this piece of amber here. Is that a dragonfly?” And Claire goes over after they’ve left and sees “Stuff that was found on the battlefield” written on a card in the case. And there it is, her Dragonfly that Munro gave her all those years ago.

15. 1746. Dougal is pissed, and rightfully so. Here’s his nephew and Claire conspiring to kill his lord and master. “This isn’t what it looks like,” Jamie says, but Dougal is having none of it.
“Ye’ve betrayed all of us, Scotland, your brothers, me, you’re uncle. You’ve been led to this by a foul witch and I’ve known she was a traitor since I first set eyes on her.” Claire tries to explain, but he shuts her up. “And you, leading this man with your claws sunk deep in his balls.”

“Hey, that’s my wife you’re talking about, there hasn’t been any claws in balls for a while now, so don’t speak ill of her in your anger.” says Jamie.

“Anger?” Dougal says. “This goes well beyond anger. Let’s call it murderous rage, shall we?” And he pulls his sword and goes after Jamie. Well, there’s a pretty big stramash, and a right to do in the room. Turns out that the scheme to murder the prince has turned into a first rate cock up for sure.

Jamie and Dougal fight, break furniture, and at one point Claire tries to hit him with a box, which shatters on Dougal’s back and knocks him away from Jamie. This gives the kid the upper hand and while fighting over a knife, Jamie realizes that he has to kill Dougal. He plunges the dirk into Dougal’s chest, with Claire’s help.

“Forgive me,” he says in Gaelic, and with a final thrust, kills his uncle. And I’d like to have the same reaction I had when watching Joffrey Baratheon die, but I don’t. because even as much as I disliked Dougal, I understood his motivations. Thanks Graham McTavish for that. Great Job!
16. Of dusty storage rooms and Rat Satires we go next. Bree and Roger are looking through Reverend Wakefield’s stuff for anything they can find about Claire’s mysterious disappearing act. A rat comes out to join them, which repulses Bree. When she lets out a shriek, Roger says, “Maybe we need a Rat Satire.”

“What’s that?” she asks. “Well, you basically sing a song telling the rat that it won’t find any food here, and to go next door where there’s better stuff. Works all the time.” Then he goes off on one, and it’s brilliant. And I’m so glad they kept it in the show. Because that is yet another iconic scene that everyone remembers.

Then he hands her a flashlight and tells her maybe that will keep them away. Then they find a box that says, “Randall” and in it is the copy of Jonathan Woolverton Randall’s commission papers. They decide to take the box with all the Randall stuff to another room and away from the Rats.

17. 1746. Rupert walks in just at the point Jamie is pulling a bloody knife out of the bloody corpse of his uncle. “Dude, did you just kill Dougal?” he asks.

“This isn’t what it looks like,” Jamie says. And it’s not, but Rupert is all, “Dude, I need some eye bleach for my good eye to unsee this.” Then he goes to the door to rat Jamie out, but Jamie stops him.

“Wait, I can explain, just give me a couple of hours to take care of some things and I’ll be back. We’ve been friends for a long time, yeah? Give me that.” and the pirate says, “For the sake of our friendship, I will but that shit’s over now. You got two hours. Do your shit, and get back here. Then I damn your soul to the fiery pit.” and he’s out.

fiery pit

18. At the battlefield, Claire goes to the stone that says Fraser. There is one other woman there, who asks, “Are you a Fraser?” and Claire says, “Uhh. Yeah, ever heard of Red Jamie? Carpet matched the drapes, just sayin’.”

She sits down and has a talk with him through the stones, where she tells him about Bree and what a lovely daughter she is. Then she says, “Goodbye” finally and at the end, touches the stone saying, “I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry. Didn‘t think I could do that, did you?” But the rest of the audience does when she says, “Rest easy soldier,” to the stone. More damn hankies!

19. In the room, Bree finds an article about Claire and the abduction by the fairies and all the stuff that happened in 1948.She starts digging through the reverend’s journals and Roger says, “Do you want to do this?” and she says, “I want the truth!” Then she does the math and says, “I gotta go see a gal about a father.”

Claire is getting tea on and Bree comes down to confront her about who her real father is. “Well, that’s a question to ask.” she says, in a useless gambit of parental obfuscation. Bree is adamant. “Who were you with for three years?!” and that’s when Claire feels about a million twisted emotions in the span of like five seconds.


Then Roger comes in to the awkwardness and says, “Yeah… I’ll just let you two talk about things then, yeah?” and Bree stops him. “No, stay!” and when she orders someone like that, you obey that shit. “You haven’t lied to anyone. So go ahead. Spill the beans, mom. I want to hear all about your ‘excursion with the fairies’ and who my real father is.”

“Yeah, you might want to sit down for this because it’s a doozy of a tale and we’ll be here a while. Roger, would you kindly get the tea pot on? There’s a dear.” Claire says.

real father

20. 1746 “I’ve killed Dougal Mackenzie,” says Jamie to Murtagh. We need to act quickly if I’m to get out of this.” And Murtagh’s all, “Its about time, aye. What took you so long?”

Jamie explains that they are going to sign the deed of sassine for Lallybroch. Then he says to Fergus, “You’re going to have to take it there, because I’ve got other shit to do.” Well, Fergus balks at this, but Jamie convinces him it’s the only way, and it will take wee Fergus away from the battle, and the fans want him to be around for season three, so go ahead and do it, aye?

“I will not fail you my lord,” Fergus says.

21. “Okay, so let me get this straight. Frank Randall wasn’t my real father. That guy was some six foot three redheaded guy in a kilt from the eighteenth century? I’m going to call bullshit on this one.” Says Bree. “Yep, pretty much hit the nail on the head. Sorry cupcake but that’s the truth.” Claire answers.

Well, there’s roger sitting over in the corner, looking at his glass like

hello glass

Claire and Bree go on with each other back and forth because Bree is rightfully pissed off, showing that Fraser anger. Claire is trying to be reasonable. And I want to say to her, “Claire, darling, you’re in a fight with an angry red head, have you not learned your lesson? Hell, I had three redheaded sisters, and each one of them tried to kill me almost when they got mad at me. Now is the time to run, not be ‘reasonable’!”

Bree at one point asks, “So if it weren’t for the battle of Culloden my real father would have raised me and loved me? Mom, stahp! OMG WTF?!”

Claire tries to prove the point by bringing out the deed of Sassine, but Bree isn’t having any of that either.

“Just own up to it! Own up to the fact that you aren’t perfect! That you fucked another man!”

And Claire finally snaps. “What Jamie and I had was a hell of a lot more than fucking! I mean, wow! That boy could go downtown like a champ! I still dream about that V, and lower! I basically banged him like a screen door in a hurricane if it means that much to you!”

“Why are you doing this?” Bree asks. And then Claire says, “It’s the truth.” And this is where I want to slap a girl hard because she disses her mother and I’m so sad for Claire at this moment. “Only two people know the truth and one of them is dead. Too bad it wasn’t you.”

22. They get together over a Deed of Sassine, and all sign it, with Murtagh and Claire doing the honors as witnesses. And there’s the tear that fell on it that we saw earlier in that way old historical document that everyone was so free about touching without so much as a glove to protect it. Then they hand it off to Fergus, and he swears to take it to Lallybroch. Jamie tells him, “Ride like the wind, and if you have to stop, hide like the devil. And if you have to eat, eat like a bird and move as fast as a hare.”

And Fergus takes this command as a soldier would, and we see him in the last a small child framed in a large doorframe of the house. Thanks Outlander, now I’m worried about the fate of a fictitious nine year old.

23. Roger and Bree are in a bar discussing the matter. Bree still doesn’t believe her mother, and Roger is trying to be the voice of reason. “It doesn’t matter if you believe it or not, she believes it. Maybe she’s trying to show you her world.”

“Okay, my mother is totes insane. I mean bonkers. Should be locked up, throw away the key type of crazy. And you want me to believe her?”

“Just keep an open mind,” Roger says. And Bree says, “Let’s keep an open tab instead. Because mama’s getting drunk tonight fo sho.”

24. Claire is looking through some documents about her disappearance in 1945 and comes across the pamphlet that Geillis gave to Bree. She thinks, “Oh, shit, what the hell is she doing here?” well, she decides to go find her.

Arriving at the Edgars home, because that’s what Geillis calls herself in the future, she meets the husband. He’s a drunken sot who tells Claire that he doesn’t know where Gillian is, maybe with her “Roses of Scotland” or something. Then he says, Maybe the clues are in those books she left conveniently lying around on the table there.”
So Claire takes a group of manuscripts and journals and leaves the house.

25. Then, we are back in the bar, which has significantly gotten more crowded and more dark. Gillian comes in and Bree is all, “Gillian, what are you doing here? This is really convenient.” Well, Geillis says, “It was close to the school and where else do principal actors come in a show when they want to drop a few words of expository dialogue? Anyway, missed a great rally earlier.”

“My mother is insane, I mean really bats hit crazy so I‘ve mostly been drinking all day. Maybe I’ll catch your next rally.” Bree says. And Geillis says, “No, I’m going to a barbeque tonight. Oh, and to further the cause. So you won’t see me anymore.”

cray cray

26. Claire is looking through all the Geillis Time Travel documents and sees that she has to use gem stones to guide you and protect you and wait, what? Human sacrifice? No, that’s not right. How can that be? What? No that’s not right at all. I have to stop her.

27. 1746 Jamie tells Murtagh to get the Fraser men together and get them the hell out of here. He won’t have his kin dying for a doomed cause. “We did everything we could to stop this, but apparently it’s happening. So all that having a dinner to undermine the Prince stuff didn’t work apparently.”
Murtagh asks what he’s going to do. And Jamie says, “I’m going to get Claire out of here, then come back to Culloden.”

Well, Murtagh’s eyebrows won’t have any of that. He tells Jamie that he’ll be coming back to fight with him. Jamie says, “I won’t have you dying for nothing.” And Murtagh is all, “I won’t be dying for nothing. I’ll be dying for you.” Aww. And that is why we love a Murtagh. Dammit Outlander! We need Murtagh in season three, please. Pretty please with sugar on top?

28. Later, at Roger’s house, Bree comes in and says, “I don’t want to argue. Let’s just understand the fact that my father wasn’t Frank Randall. That he was, in fact, someone who closely resembles Ronald Macdonald. I don’t want to discuss the timey wimey stuff, just what was he like?”

And Claire says, “Well, he was tall, and strong, and his arms oh my god, and what he could do in bed was nothing short of amazing. Like that’s all I think about on cold nights. Yep, he was definitely the cherry on top of my ice cream sundae that’s for sure. His voice purred like a majestic lion, his eyes could bore right through you and make you feel as though God was looking at your heart. And oddly enough, he had the most perfect teeth of anyone I ever met there. I don’t know how he did it. He seemed to be the embodiment of every steamy romance novel hero all put together. I tried not to love him but he was so damn delicious he made it impossible not to want to wrap myself around him like a piece of paper on a lamp post in a windstorm. Okay, I need to stop because my ovaries are about to explode just thinking about him.”

29. Roger is looking through some old documents and Claire comes in to talk to him about Geillis Duncan. “Do you know this woman?”

And Roger is all, “No but we saw her at the pub tonight. What’s up?” Bree comes in, “Oh Gillian? Yeah, she’s a bit cray but she’s wild about this Scottish nationalism thing.” And Roger says “She said she was leaving town tonight to further the cause.”

So Claire says, “It’s important we find her and talk to her because she’s about to make a grave mistake. If she goes back then she’ll be burned at the stake but if she doesn’t go back then you won’t be born and oh shit! I hate this time travel paradox crap! Why can’t it be easy like in Back to the future?”

Basically, your six times great grandfather is Dougal Mackenzie. Yes, that Dougal Mackenzie. So I can’t stop her because she won’t have your ancestor, and so I have to warn her about the witch trial. But then if I do that, I change my past in the 18th century and if I do that, oh, Nevermind let’s just go find her!”

Roger is on board with this, but Bree thinks it’s all delusional. She storms out of the room after saying, “Roger you’re feeding her delusions.” And Roger goes after her and says, “Hon, maybe if we go out there we can see for ourselves what the deal is. What’s the harm in that, aye?” and Bree is all cool with that because, Roger, and because she wants to have all his babies. (had to, I’ll stop with that now.)

30. 1746 Claire and Jamie are fleeing the battlefield and she doesn’t want to leave. He says he won’t get far, but she’ll be safe where he’s taking her. Claire implores him that they could leave together and go to Ireland or somewhere. But the ports are closed and no one can leave.

Then She says, “If I were going to be burned at the witch trial, would you have gone with me?” and he says, “Yeah, I would have gone to the fiery pits of hell with you but then again I wasn’t carrying my child.”

“How did you know?” she asks. “Claire, it’s me. Come on.” he says. He’s known for a while, and yes he kept track of the girl’s flow because he’s that good. Then he says, “We have to take you back to a safer place. This bairn is all I have, so we must get you safe.”

But she doesn’t want to go and leave all that Ginger topped goodness and pretty much tells her that. Jamie is having none of that, and basically forces her to go with him. “There’s no time!” he says, while on his horse, his hand out to take her, and tears in her eyes.
31. That’s not how you make Barbeque, Geillis! You don’t use live humans. Pork! Vinegar and sauce over a low hickory charcoal grill flame. Not gasoline, on a dying body still fully clothed. Can’t you do anything right?

Just in time to see her go through the stones, Claire, Bree and Roger get out of the car and up the hill to where Geillis is roasting her husband’s chestnuts on an open fire. Bree asks “What’s that smell?”

And Roger answers “Smells like a fucking barbeque.” Like mother, like so many great grandsons, I guess. But no, it’s not a barbeque in the traditional sense of pulled pork and coleslaw with a little bit of Tabasco on top served with a sesame seed bun. This one involves burning flesh of the human kind, and there ain’t no veggies or spices to go with it.

Then they see Geillis, going toward the stones, and they try to stop her but she touches the stones and Poof! There she goes, and disappears. “She’s gone! She went through the stones. And can you hear that buzzing? What is that?”

Claire tells Roger to go get help, while Bree looks on in awed fascination, thinking “I guess my mother was right after all, yeah?”

32. 1746 At the stones, Claire asks, “How can I tell anyone about this?” and Jamie says, “You’ll figure it out I’m sure. Tell Frank what you will, that I envy he gets to have you, and I hate him to the very marrow of his bones.” and Claire’s all, “Jealous much?”

She tries to get him to go, and he says, “I can’t. I don’t have that power.” and he touches a stone to prove it. “Besides, it’s not my place.” Then he takes her in his arms and says, “I’ve done a lot of bad things, but loving you wasn’t one of them. And if I have to endure two hundred years of purgatory before I meet god I’ll tell him, ‘Lord, ye gave me a rare woman,” and kisses her. “And God, I loved her well.”

And I’ve got a smile on my face and a tear in my eye because it’s one of the best lines ever written and then the two of them collapse on the ground and make all the babies.

Okay, Outlander, I’ll give you that one. You had to show it. I know. But only 2 times the entire season? Two? Whatever. I’ll give it two and a half for that one time when Murtagh got caught with Suzette’s jublies in his face but that’s being generous.

They start to hear the sounds of battle far away. Claire gives him the Dragonfly in Amber wrapped around her scarf. And he gives her his father’s ring with a purple stone in it. “Give it to the bairn, when he’s old enough.” he tells her. She says she’ll name the child after his father Brian, and he’s happy with that.

Then, they walk backward, looking in each other’s eyes, and the crescendo rises and he’s giving her all the moony eyes he can before they turn around. He tells her “Goodbye Claire,” and together, they touch the stones. And what the hell is all this water leaking out of my eyes, dammit?!

33. “I believe you,” Bree tells her mother. ”I don’t know how all this works, but yeah, you were telling the truth.” Claire answers, “You don’t need a human sacrifice like Geillis thought, but yep, essentially these stones are magic time travel devices.”

“Wicked, awesome,” says Bree. “So I can eventually go back through them as well?” and Claire’s all, “Totally, and Roger too. So when are you going to start making all his babies?”

Later, Roger comes back, having alerted the police. He tells Claire, “So I have some news. I did some digging, and apparently, five Fraser captains went to Culloden and one of them was spared death. His name was James Allperfect Moonyeye MacHunkington Fraser, does that ring a bell?”

Claire says, “Yep, that’s him. If anyone could find a way to stay alive it’s that man.” Bree says, “So if that’s true, then you can go back and find him.” and Claire looks at the stones and the light of the sun is rising through them and the crescendo is growing and there’s al light in her eye and her face is all bright with promise of the future and she says, “Yes, he’s alive! My ginger topped hunk of blazing hot man flesh is alive, you bet your sweet ass I’m going back!”

And fade to black. I know, it was kind of a hokey ending, but whatevs. I’ll be back a bit later with a review of the season and what I hope to see from season 3. It is going to be based on Voyager, everyone’s favorite book of the series.

Until then, enjoy this recap of the moony eye pics of the week. Yep, all thirteen because this recap has gone on long enough, and what the hell, you’ve been with me this long, what’s a few extra pictures of our favorite Ginger topped piece of beefcake going to hurt, yeah?

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